He came to my house around 8:30 and stayed the night (no sex). He did bring me a gift. Then he tells me to let my mind rest that he is going to give me what I want. I said what is that. He says I'm going to move back in. Well for a moment I was extremely pleased. Then he says we'll have to work out the when and hows later. He said but its not going to be tomorrow. I said well just so he don't have to pay another months rent, we have a week to get him moved back in before the first of the month. He said thats not going to happen. He said, you are trying to control me, I'm going to pay another months rent. I said and after that whos to say you want pay the next, he said I don't know. I told him not to play games with me, he says he is not. He said, see what happens, you pout if you don't get your way, you are trying to manipulate me. He says he wants to take me away for the weekend. Its gonna take months just to pay off the debts he has made in 3 months. He can't afford to take me away. He'd have to come back here and live and pay NO bills here and let all his pay go for child support and to pay debt and that alone would take 3 or 4 months of working just to pay. I do NOT get it and I am at a loss as what to do. He says we are back together and he is totally committed to me. That he never wants or wanted a divorce. If he is totally committed to me then his actions are NOT showing it. He says it is his issues that he was hurt too and he needs to forgive and trust that I won't kick him out. Well treat me nice and he'll have no worries. To be considerate of his "security", I offered to sign a notarized paper stating if I ever "kicked" him out, I'd provide him with x amount of money to set up house with. His security seems to be all he is concerned with, what about MINE? I laid in bed crying and he just laid there. I told him, in the morning when you leave, call me when you are really ready to commit and IF I still want to....then we'll reconcile. He said nothing. Who knows what he will do tonight after work. I assume call and act as though nothing has happened and come here to stay or ask me to go to his house. THis is so crazy. I want so badly for our marriage to work and I do NOT want to waste any more time away from him. I am so torn as what to do!!!!!!!!! Should I just be happy that he SAYs he loves me and will eventually move back?
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I've been pretty stable the last few months. I haven't had a depressive episode in months and no hypomania. My meds really seem to be working. I was substitute teacher last school year but I recently found a part time job as a paraprofessional and I am happy with a set schedule. I'm doing so well and I hope it continues. My kids see a huge change in me and are proud of how well I am doing.
Ephesians 4:29 New Life Version (NLV)29 Watch your talk! No bad words should be coming from your mouth. Say what is good. Your words should help others grow as Christians.