Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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we went to the 2nd mediation meeting today at 3. i was under alot of pressure. pressure to agree to 50/50 . i was advized by my attorney not to agree to it.
STBX didnt think it was a fair plan, what i proposed. it was the 1 night a week and every other weekend and more day s in the summer cause im off then and would be with them every day and night.
anyway , he wants more visitation than just 1 night a week and every other weekend. so we came up with this.
m,tu with mom
w,th with dad
f s su with mom
m , t with dad
w,th with mom
f, s, su with dad and etc etc.
we would do alternating holidays and he'd have them differently in the summer because i dont work in summer. he 'd have them every other weekend and 2 visits per week. one week on m, wed, and one week on t, th. etc.
what do you think of this plan . is anyone else on a similar palan and would this still be considered 50 50 No RIGHT cause of him not having them the same thorgh the summer?
please respond
STBX didnt think it was a fair plan, what i proposed. it was the 1 night a week and every other weekend and more day s in the summer cause im off then and would be with them every day and night.
anyway , he wants more visitation than just 1 night a week and every other weekend. so we came up with this.
m,tu with mom
w,th with dad
f s su with mom
m , t with dad
w,th with mom
f, s, su with dad and etc etc.
we would do alternating holidays and he'd have them differently in the summer because i dont work in summer. he 'd have them every other weekend and 2 visits per week. one week on m, wed, and one week on t, th. etc.
what do you think of this plan . is anyone else on a similar palan and would this still be considered 50 50 No RIGHT cause of him not having them the same thorgh the summer?
please respond
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My eyes glaze over when someone tries to explain _________________________ to me.
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Yea or nay?
mon,wed her
tue,thu me
fri sat sun me
m,w, her
tue,thu me
fri sat sun her
It works for our 7 year old because it is constant ... it's monday so it must be mum's.
He has settled in to it okay.
Every year, I plan out a calendar of visits, alternating holidays, visits, etc., year to year.
It's all worked out pretty good. The kids (6 and 8) have adjusted to rotation quite well. They know the schedule and routine quite well.
I was adamant that I wanted my children to know where they would be laying head for a period of time...NOT feeling like yo-yos because mom and dad were having their own problems.
Other challenges in situation aside, I do count my blessings, that the break-up is affecting my children as little as possible.
The discussion should not be about parents convenience, but rather the children's convenience.
Just my experience.
Having been a byproduct of my parents' terrible marriage and divorce, I would argue I was even more motivated to not go down that same path with my own children. Rob.
We do every other weekend with him and every Wen night, and we started doing it without any agreement or the courts. Have you guys tried it yet. You could give it a few weeks to see how well it works. Also these plans are never set in stone, so as long as the two of you are willing to try things, you can always addapt it.
We've pretty much decided that the kids will be with Dad every Thursday after school and sleep over. Every other week, he'll keep them from Thursday thru the weekend and bring them to school on Mondays. This way, the kids know for certain they will be with Dad every Thursday night and every other weekend. They don't even have to think about it. Summers & holidays we'll likely split.
Before you agree to anything, get some good expert advice on what works best for your kids. The child psychologist stressed that their best interest should be the deciding factor in what you ultimately do -- not what your STBX wants or even you. It's what's best for the kids, then matched with what you and your STBX can do logistically. Good luck!!!!
ive come up with something similar to the 8th reply from hope62.
it would be:
every other weekend friday thru monday morning (get them on the bus)
every other tues and thurs from 4-8 and every other m, wed from 4-8 so he would not go more than 3 days without seeing them
yes , they would be primarily with me , thyd know where they 'd be sleeping every night and i think it is VERY Fair.
what do you 's think?