i say go for it,
however if she is in love with him she could be blinded
you could just warn her in a nice way.

I say DON'T GO FOR IT, believe me when I tell you that it will not make a difference. This woman is not going to believe a scorned woman anyway and you know what she may even make you feel worse. She is definetely going to be blinded and she is not going to AT ALL take the advice of his wife. This will not make his life unpleasant at all, he will just think that you have gone to extremes by calling her. When I emailed a friend of the OW to tell her that her friend was a homewrecker they all laughed at me and called me crazy. The my husband called me and told me that I should "Give it up and move one". It was so hurtful. You have absolutely nothing to gain by calling this woman, if he is a dog she will see it for herself and you will come out looking even better because you took the higher ground. Sorry freetofly I don't agree with you on this one :)

She won't believe anything that you say. Tell him anything and everything that you need to tell him. She is not worth the effort.

wooooo, wait a minute... I would want to know if a man is fixing to be a father, would want to know what I'm getting into. Thats only fair.

You are talking about someone who is living with someone else's husband. Not exactly the highest morals. I'm guessing that she won't believe you and then your stbx and his gf will then make fun of you to others (their friends who have the same set of morals) and tell others that you are jealous. Let her have the horrible man and then one day in the distant future thank her if anything, for taking someone so selfish and adulterous off your hands.

My advice, do not call.

If you do call, call and thank her for taking such a horrible person that would abandon his wife and unborn child for another woman. Tell her you will now be able to raise your child with higher standards.

She won't listen to you, and he will think you are desperate for him. Don't give them the opportunity to have power over you.

I have resisted the urge to do the same, because I know it won't do me any good.

DON"T DO IT

my God we sound like broken records here. I hope one day we can have like a different posting mechanism where we can have stickys that say like "if you want to call the OM/OW here's what you do - DON'T DO IT"

There's so many reasons I think I am going to write them down on a word doc and keep it in my documents file and all I have to do is copy-paste.

Let me say the obvious is "she won't believe anything you say!"

If anything all you will do is form a bond that the two of them can create like a "us against them" mentality. If you are wanting them to stay together for a long time (which statistics say wont last) then help them out by giving themselves something to unite together.

I agree that you should not call this person. What is that going to accomplis? NOTHING

It is not going to make him miserable. He does not care about you or how you feel. She knows that he is still married and obviously she doesn't care either.

Spare yourself the hurt and just forget about his sorry ass.

So sorry. I really dont understand a man who can leave a wife prenant with his child.
My answer is that neither one of them is worth the air, time or enegy it would take to make the call. If you need to get it out of your system, write what you would say on a piece of paper. scream, write trash about both of them(they deserve it)just dont mail it.I will keep you and your son in my prayers.

IMHO - total waste of your time. She's sleepin' with someone elses husband, do you really think that telling her that a baby is involved,or that he's told you all these things is going to make a difference.

If he's told YOU those things, he's telling HER things too. She's going to believe her own ears before your words.....

I've also resisted contacting her since he left. If figure that she will figure it all out and realize she didn't get the prize she thought she got. Why give her the benefit of my experience.

Besides, in my case, I know that she's jealous of me because he still loves me. I just sit back and think, when they get in a fight, and she starts having doubts, it'll be me she's thinking he's thinking about. Wheather he is or not. I'm not really jealous anymore. But she is.

I was in the exact same spot you are in. i was pregnant with our second child, we seperated, he moved in with another girl. i told her everything because he was saying the same things to me as yours is saying to you. IT DID NO GOOD AT ALL!!! She did not listen, and then I felt like a fool because he was still with her. Save yourself from the additional heartache.

don't do this, you'll only end up being rejected again and the pain will still be there. you have to build a new life for you and your son. you have so much to look forward too.

Send him a postcard made of the sonogram, in care of her.