The only thing I would add is treat me the way I treat you.

Nope you are being perfectly reasonable. Just add a few things like no drug abuse and yes it could work.

Not unreasonable! This is an open list to be added to correct?

Respect me as I respect you and happiness will follow.

Thanks All... and yes "treat me the way you want to be treated." Needs to be added... because I always treat people the way I want them to treat me and that doesn't work.

Boudries are such an interesting concept to me. I am still not sure where I stand on them-I always felt that they were just Ultimatums.

Certain things-such as Children and Pets-those are more along the lines of Plain Common Sense...Touch Them and DIE!!!

I am still looking at the concept of Boundries and thinking of Fence Lines. Even after, or maybe Especially After, what I have lived...I don't think I could find them acceptable.

Is it Shrink time for Tami, again?

Great list you have going there. Boundaries are great, sticking to them is even better!

No Tami... I don't think it is shrink time. Everyone has a few things they just can't accept. Like mine "Once you leave, don't come back". Many people would do anything to save thier marriages even after splitting up, but that's just not negoatible to me. So I guess yes they are Ultimatums.

I have a simple Bible concept for my boundaries:

1. A good woman builds her house up.

2. An evil woman tears her house down.

Very wide yet firm boundaries, and I am not talking just a physical house here...I am talking about a home, and so was God.

From day two, as we were driving away from town on our "honeymoon" the ultimatums started. You do "this" I leave. You do "that" and there's the door.

The very first one on the list was serving cold sandwiches for dinner-I kid you not. It was about 15 years later and his mother was visiting. We were past 100 degrees and she suggested sandwiches and chips for dinner, and I remember going into the shakes and almost throwing up from stress.

She got her way, he got mad, I hid.

He used to call to make sure that I was "obeying" the schedule.

That is what Boundaries look like to Me. Jeff's Rules.

Don't invade personal space, don't "do" without permission, always watch the axe hanging over your head.

That is a short listof boundries.What about having a job, drugs, drinking. Maybe having all your teeth. How about being honest.

I used to think that "having a full time job" was a given, or sharing in the financial obligations, looking at your future and making plans together. whew... live & learn. yeah, make sure there are those boundries that save your own self respect and dignity. Once they take those from you, its very rough to get up.

The three things I need or expect for a happy marriage:

1. Commitment
2. Affection
3. Honesty

For me, if we have these three, everything else will follow.

What do you do when Momma bear is so protective that she is actually hurting your kids and you get dumped on because you are trying to be a parent and she wants to be their best friend. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.
4. If you are just looking for a sperm donation go to a bank.

In todays divorce oriented world a couple of good boundaries come to mind. Not that they are mine, yet ones that are awfully tempting:

1. Don't get married ever.
2. Only accept those who have own income, Insurances, Home, Transportation, No nagging debt, No live ins, No desire to take what you have, Ability to maintain own things...ex; "I'll get a Man to do it!", Similar likes, Reasonable in realizing Wine & Dine dont mean going to monoco and the riviera, Someone who dont Hate men already and thinks Ophra is a fat biotch, One that realizes men have feelings, needs, and emotions too.....and I could go on, but you get the idea.
3. Must not be vain above reality.
4. Must know giving and recieving is an act of love and not a flaw.

The guy who wanted teeth in a woman made me think of this stuff...lol

Zoot every guy wants a women with teeth. The reason I said that is because the dating site that I go to. List alot of stuff she wants her man to have. Ex. car,job,house,teeth,most of their hair,good looking.