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Unconditional Responsiblity for Mistakes?.....

Carm416
Carm416
In John Gray's, Ph.D book entitled "Mars, and Venus in Love Inspiring and Heartfelt Stories of Relationships that Work quotes, "An apology acknowledges unconditional responsibility for your mistake and committing to doing something about it." In love in forgiving a mistake, you are also creating the opportunity to open up and again give and receive love. In this way forgiveness and responsibility go hand in hand. "What does none do when one of the partners exhibits a theme of committing the same mistake with no change in behavior? I've struggled with this thought and the feelings evoked from this thought for months. If a partner truly loved his significant other, would you care to change bheaviors that are damaging to the relationship? I would never breach the trust my sigifnicant other has in reference to seeking men outside the relatinship to express my most inner, and initmate thoughts without thinking abut the consequences. What are your thoughts? Opinions?
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds like emotional cheating. My stbx was indeed "...seeking men outside the relatinship to express her most inner, and initmate thoughts without thinking abut the consequences." She formed a special relationship with one man that went on for two years, then with a second man (dumping the first one!). And I learned yesterday that that relationship has turned sour. She says that he is moody; She can't tolerate moody people. Funny really, because I am never moody. Oh well.
As for continuing to commit the same mistake without a change of behavior, there is a saying that I picked up from somewhere: "modify or separate", as in, modify your behavior or we separate.
Is that what you are thinking?
Carm416
Carm416
Of course it's emotional cheating. As the saying goes "behind every manifest behavior, there is a reason"? Instead of seeking the opposite sex, why not seek therapy, something that will help the current relationship. My ex had a tendency to seek women outside the relationship, but the worst part of it all is that he complained about me to the women whom he spoke with.

As for modifying the behavior, unfortunately, people have an internal need to keep repeating the same mistakes. It takes someone with courage to say "I'm going to modify the behavior for my sake, and the sake of the relationship. Thanks for responding. Internal peace, health and love.

As far as your soon to be ex, her behavioral pattern is not going to change. She will continue to cheat.

Some people don't understand the meaning of a committed relationship.
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