I don't know how I am supposed to keep going on with my life pretending like everything is ok! I can't concentrate at work, I am exhausted, I feel more alone than I ever have in my life, how do people do this? I sometimes think that it is almost worth it to ask him to come home just to get rid of these feelings. I know that I am the one who asked him to leave, I know that our relationship is toxic, I also know that it is unhealthy and unsafe to be there with him, but I at least would know where he is and what he is doing, I wouldn't have to walk around with this constant fear and loneliness. I wouldn't have to listen to my kids cry for him. I don't know if I can do this!
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