We had court today. I got there first and sat down. He came in, apparently worked with the woman sitting behind me and sat down directly behind me. As he sat there laughing and talking to this person, I could feel myself getting more and more angry. He's sitting there acting like he's a normal person...someone with feelings...when in actuality he's the devil himself. He hasn't spoken to his children since Dec. 31. And even then it was a 5 minute drive by...with his girlfriend in the running car...gave the kids a $50 gift card as the xmas present and was gone. I'm the one who dealt with son crying his eyes out after he left that night. All this was going through my mind...the dirtbike, the rifle, the piano, him not seeing them, not calling them even though they each have a cell phone, the nonpayment of their medical bills...ARGH!!! I turned around, against my better judgment, and asked if he ever planned to return N's dirtbike...or pay for the bills that he's late paying...I was furious and he was completely fine...didn't care in the least. Why in the world did I bother???? I knew better...and wouldn't have had he not been right behind me carrying on. I hate seeing him...I hate hearing his voice...I do not like him at all...he's definitely bottom of the barrell material!!! I can handle anything he throws at me...I really don't care what he thinks of me or how he feels about me...but my kids...my babies. They are his babies too and I don't understand how he can't think that they are the greatest things in the world????
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Has anyone had success in stopping intrusive thoughts? If I am under stress they get worse. It was really bad a few weeks ago but is improving. I wish they woud never come back. They are like a bully in the back yard. Go away!