After a 25 yr. abusive marriage to a man who was very contolling and abusive in so many ways i finally decided to file for divorce after years of being separated from him and trying to work it out. I think I hung on so long because of the fear of the unknown. I've known for a while that he had caused my love for him to die over the years with every affair, every physical & mental abuse incident and the times he allowed our 18 yr. old to abuse me without stepping in to help me at all. My son and my husband are both very big men and very strong, I on the other hand am 5ft.6in. and 145lbs with an unrepaired ruptured disc in my back and another spinal condition that is best described as "my back is broken in half". I'm now learning that abusers whether they are men or women isolate their victims by destroying their relationships with family and friends. I have NO friends to talk to and I am in thr process of rebuilding my relationships with my parents and two brothers. They all had no idea why I had pulled away from them until now. My husband was arrested in Aug. 2006 for pulling my arm out of my shoulder socket and all that happened to him was one year of probation. I lived on pins and needles afraid of what he would do when he got out. We've separated many times in the past but this time (July 2007) I knew was for good. My 15 & 18 yr old sons stayed with me and my husband moved in with his parents. I retained an attorney last October and my husband was served with divorce papers last Sunday. My 18 yr old and husband now live together after many abusive incidents from my 18 yr old to me. I haven't heard from my 18 yr old in weeks and my husband sent me a "not so nice" text after he was served. They both blame me for "wrecking" our family and I now am feeling very alone, scared and unsure of the future for me and my 15 yr old. Does anyone understand WHY I feel all these emotions now? I felt ok until he was served and now I feel very confused. PLEASE help!
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