I left after 16 years of emotional abuse. We've been seperated two months. The first couple weeks I was so RELIEVED that I had made the move and I thought I would start my life over and find peace. Now as more time passes, I keep second guessing my decision. I am soooooo homesick. My STBX just keeps telling people I "flipped" this summer. He finally admitted to being cruel, but justifies his actions saying that I always made him swear and yell at me. He says people are only human and can only be pushed so far. Now I feel as though I am responsible for the fights. I have so much guilt over tearing up my kids lives. I am fighting the urge to go back and beg him to love me, and believe me I have done that many times during arguements, especially everytime he told me if I didn't like it get the F--- out. I hate him and I still am focusing on all the memories of the good times. I feel like I am dying........
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