I understand completely. Mine is also very "nice" and I wish he could be the asshole so I could get angry...

being with someone for so long... even after years of being seperated, divorced etc.. a piece of you is always w/them... a small and I do mean small piece of you will always love them. there will always be those happy times in the past, behind you... that will make you think of them and smile and make you wonder what happened to us, where did we go wrong. Its been 2 yrs since my Ex and I seperated, and I still have times were I feel jealous, mad, and that small, and I do mean small part of me that does still loves him comes out, and I wonder where did we go wrong, and then the complete @$$ comes out again and I see that stranger again, and I remember. what i mean it, it does get better over time, but there is always that small part of you that finds it hard to really let go, or that part of you that will reflect on the past... but you got to remember when you do, that looking forward and moving on is what is best, can't hold on. have to look forward and move on. Best of luck to you hon. (((HUGS)))

yes,,everytime I think maybe I made a mistake filing for divorce I look at my reasons (I have them written down for times like these) and just sigh and put the paper back in my purse. I didn't make a mistake with the divorce - just with allowing him into my heart.

I have been married for 34 years next month and seperated for 2 years on Christmas and I am still having trouble letting go. 2/3 of my life has been with this man and I keep trying to let go but I just can't seem to find the way. No one seem to understand they just say get rid of the jerk but how can you shut your love off after so long? I thought I was doing good until the anniversary gets closer. Help!

Have you tried to tell him to leave you alone? Just explain to him that his being nice seems superficial. I mean, how could he expect you to be nice back when it seems like he wanted you to live with him having mistresses. That's disrespectful.

I agree, its' hard to tell them to leave you alone, because a piece of you doesnt want them to, you want to hold on. But you need them to. My Ex was trying so hard to be the "friend" he was with me b4 we dated and after we started dating, and after we were married, and it just wasn't working. He is a stranger... and I made it known to him that he isn't that friend to me anymore, because he isn't that man to me anymore.... (boy I hope this makes since. Just can't be friend someone after so much pain... and definately cant befriend a man who isn't the same man he use to be.

I would love to tell him to just stay away, but we have a baby together. I can't do that to my son. I grew up without a father and it sucks.

Oh, Dear, do I understand what you are saying.

Right now stbx is in "Mr. NiceGuy" mode and it is tearing my heart out.

My kids are trying to remind me of the things that he says and does when he is being nice to my face...Anything to keep me in one piece. They are Totally Correct-The man is poison when he is Nice.

I am so sorry. I wish you all the health and strength that you can possibly Get to Get PAST "Mr. Nice Guy" and his two-faced ways. (((Hugs)))

I totally understand, I am going through this right now. My STBX is being so nice to me, that it is very confusing. I see him all the time, because we have 3 kids together and he is being a great responsible father. I am trying to be strong and continue to move ahead, but it is hard!! Stay strong!

my ex and i have 3 kids together, but we put on a bases of not talking to each other unless it deal with the kids, aka school, health care, or generally about the kids, anything else is a no no zone! and when he does come around to visit and take the kids, we don't hang around each other very long, thats a no no too. brings up too much

Some people would call me 'nice' as well, but I believe I am just being easy to get along with and co-operative. I think there is a difference, and I am not sure what you guys are calling 'nice'. I think there is something kind of twisted and almost abusive about someone who leaves a marriage, breaks your heart and spirit, THEN becomes really 'nice' to you afterwards...

Paul has a point... this "nice" man that my husband became for a while, he sure is "twisted" LMAO