We all have triggers that once hit, the crying starts. I had a strange one.

On Sunday H finally gave the date he would move out - end of Nov. The crying and sleepless nights returned.

Yesterday I felt like crying at work, at the gym, and especially when reading DS post, I was able to hold myself. I thought the floodgates would open as soon as I got home. After I opened the door to the empty house, I didn't really have any tears to shed.

Back in Aug, from the receipts I found H bought total of three 18-bottle cases of beer in different occasions. He had one case in the kitchen and hid two in an empty luggage. When one of the hidden cases disappeared, I was sad thinking that he took it to the OW's place or wherever he spent excessive time. He consumed the last bottle in the kitchen before we went on a cruise trip 2 weeks ago. I could see he tried to consume it all before he moves. I thought there was another case to consume and it would take a while to consume it, because he really doesn't spend much time at home. That made me think he would stay for at least another month. It was gone when I checked last night and so the gates open.

My other trigger is whenever I think about how hard I cried, I want to cry. It feels like I experience the same sadness over again. Last but not least reading other people's posts especially with any similarities of my situations put tears in my eyes too.