I can relaye to that. Then again this is my 2nd one. Both times they left for a married man. Go figure.

It is a hard trade in 1 year of pain for how many years of marriage?

I'm not jaded enough yet. I still believe in marriage and if I have any shot at achieving a happy marriage, I HAVE to put myself out there and trust others, tempered by my own judgement. I still look towards marriage with optimism. I don't see it as something that is bound to fail.

I've lived on my own long enough now to know there is not fulfillment in it for me.

But, everyone is different....

I can totally relate,two wives both cheated and left for om.
But....but...I am learning why I choose the women I did and to make sure that I never choose that type of woman again.

I think I have a record here on DS. My wife told me she was done after 8 weeks of marriage.

I'm right there with you! We're always told, never say never, but I will NEVER get married again. Besides, being alone isn't all that bad. You can do what you want, whenever you want, and there's no one to tell you not to do it.

Trust is trust. I was married 22 years and he cheated on me for most of that time (I found out afterwards) AND he had another family for 9 years of that. He had everyone fooled including me. BUT... I choose to believe that he is the defective person, not me. I think I could trust and love again. I sure hope so!

I can understand that. I however am not a man who can be alone for very long. I need the company of a woman. I think maybe it's a lack of self-esteem. I've been married 4 times and have said there would never be another after each one. If this one is over I don't know. Marriage? I don't think so but relationship of course.

I think I will pass on marriage again. This is also my second. The first one he was gone within a year for another woman. This one is in midlife crisis. don't know if there is another woman or not but irrelevant at this point.

Rodd, I can totally relate to this. Being in another relationship scares the heck outta me and I just don't know if I want to commit the time and energy into another relationship.

I also thought I had a great marriage but obviously stbx felt differently and I can't be responsible for someone else's thoughts when you can't read their minds.

Would it even be fair to another person to put the expectation of actually communicating with me on the list of things that I want :)

I'm being silly with that one but hell if you think you have that and then find out that you don't, like I did how the heck am I supposed to enter into another relationship without totally being on guard?

Does this make any sense? :)

I must be either an eternal optimist or entirely too stupid for survival.

I am determined that at some point in my life, someone is going to Love Me.

I have never been Special to Anyone, Ever. I really want to know what that is.

I know that I can live alone. I know that I don't need love to survive. But I want to find it.

Maybe I will. It is worth the risk.

I would love to really be loved for who I am, rather than what I represent. But I feel the way you do. In seeking that, in thinking I had it, I not only was hurt emotionally, but I wasted many years, brought 2 innocent people into the world to suffer, lost my financial security and my career, and all of my trust. I married a man who was the exact opposite of what he pretended to be. He's not even that smart, yet he fooled me for years. I'm too stupid to love again.

Rodd, I probably hold the record (or close to it) for being married the longest - 39 yrs. (3 1/2 yr of which we were separated. The divorce was final in Jan. I can certainly relate. Until just recently I wanted nothing to do with any kind of relationship every again. While I have still no desire to be married again, I have started to hope that maybe there's a guy out there who might like me for who I am. So what I'm saying is give it some time. Learn to trust yourself first, above all else. Then you will be open to new relationships. The rest will come in time.

I go back and forth with that thought. So I have decided not to think about it. If somedy I meet someone and I feel I can completely trust that person I would. But I would want to be as sure as possible.

i hope, but i am going to be A LOT pickier, too!