you poor thing!! I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Did he even explain why?

I honestly don't know what to say other than we are here to listen and give as many hugs as you want... Please take care of yourself and vent away... it really helps!

Hugs!

Why is he doing this? Would he say?

My ex wife did a similar thing to me. I feel the same way about her. It is really tough to deal with and it causes a lot of emotional rollercoasters. I love her, I hate her, I don't want her back, I wish she would come back, Why did she do this to me?, How could she do this to me?, etc.

Family and friends will get you through this. Try to concentrate on what you need to improve yourself and get yourself back in a healthy lifestyle and a healthy stait of mind.

Often times these people began to think that the relationship was not fixable sometime ago and they begin to distance themselves from the relationship. They don't appear to be hurt and they have already made their minds up that they aren't interested in it anymore. It really sucks but the only thing that you can do is worry about you at that point.

There are a lot of people here who have been in a similar if not the exact same situation. Although it really isn't much comfort now try to remember that you aren't alone and there are plenty here who will cry and walk with you to help guide you through whatever else life may bring. All you can do is take it one step at a time and start to focus on you and trying to find the things that make you happy. From the brief discription you gave you might be in a distructive phase which isn't healthy for anyone especially you. It wont help to bring him back nor will it put you in a better frame of mind because always with tomorrow comes sobriety.Try to focus and look at the things that you can control in your life right now and that is your own actions. Remember we are here for you and always willing to listen when you want an ear. ((((hugs)))

So sorry for your hurt and pain. I know how you feel. My ex filed after almost 14 years of marriage saying he was unhappy and didn't want to be married anymore. It sucks. I'll probably never know the real reason why. We did have some issues but he always refused suggestions of counseling. It's so hard going through this but you have to hang in there. I found that no contact helps too.

been there felt your pain, a lot of us have. It is the worst pain I have ever felt! Don't want to feel it again! Time does help. but you have just started down a long path. It takes a lot to get back to some normal happy life but you will. Journal, write letters to him and yourself, read tham back (don't send them). Don't look to him to fix it. He won't or can't . You will be the one that gets strong enough to get you through. You will see!

I'm so sorry. Similar situation. Husband decided he was unhappy and that was that. No real reason. Heavetoo is right. Sometimes the other person has already made up their mind, and there isn't anything you can do at that point but worry about yourself.

Anyhow, it sounds like you are trying to keep busy, which is good, but I understand that down times can be treacherous. You WILL get through this, but you have to give yourself a break and realize that it will take time. Don't rush your healing process. Be angry, be sad, be all those things, it's okay. Go out with friends, do stupid things (well not TOO stupid), but let it out. It is okay and you are not crazy. (sometimes you just need someone to say it)

From the information in your profile and ehre, it seems to me you are addicted to him, and that is very unhealthy to you. You have enough to deal with in your pplae, he has his own choices. ACCEPTANCE and the vision taht life can be better are things I miss seeing. Divorce is a hole, and it seems you can only see the darkness in it, not really looking for a way out. Poor sleep makes this much harder. You can't see clearly without sleep. Talk to your dr about the sleep issue, consider halp for that. Talk to the dr about what you feel, you may need antidepressants initically. Educate yourself about your options, try to focus on yourself, and solutions instead of focusing on the problem. There are phases you go through div you should be aware of. Baby steps first addressing one need at a time. The ex choices are external to you, nothing you can do about that. My advice to you is no contact. From my experience, contact keeps you in the same frame of mind. It is important to keep minimum interaction so you can allow yourself the oportunity to know how life is without him. This anger you feel and emotions need an outlet. Whatever works for you, what makes you feel it gets is out of your chest (example, journalling, travelling, give the ex some shit too). You don't need to be nice to anyone but yourself. Put yourself first. While you keep interactions and the hopes alive, he is still in the center of your universe at the expense of your health. It is a time to be kind to yourself and gentle to your feelings. I has "friends" with the ex for 1 yr, it did not do me any good. Him around in any capacity kept me to continue to bottle up and loose it in an uncontroled manner, I remember seeing myself getting angry with people just because I was angry from interactions. Time to let him go and live with his choices, and live for yourself only. Keep just people around that are true friends and wish you well from the bottom of their heart. Don't take any less. Make life good to yourself. Pay attention to how the interactions make you feel, what is in it for you, and how your life is progressing. Take one shiit out of your life at a time. I would say the ex has to go because the friendship is too emotionally costly to you. Go for what you need yourself, instead of living in this limbo, take your power back, the driver sit, and make decisions that are good to you regardless of what he chooses or not. Dont make your life about depending on anything from him. My experience is minimum contact through email, that has served me better than a jerk's friendship. Obviously, if he left, he is not all that good to you. He was a jerk, try to see things for what they are, for what you have now from him, not what it could or should have been. Chances are if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. It is not all about you, he has his own issues to deal with, including the guilt to leave the relationship. All the best, I hope you feel better soon.

Vent here any time you need to. Sometimes just getting it out helps.

I'm sorry you're so hurt, but take a deep breath and just focus on one minute at a time. There are lots of people here that will give you hugs and support.

I am so deeply sorry for the pain you're going through. If it helps you to know you're not alone in this experience I will tell you that nearly the exact same thing happened to me. I got the usual kiss goodbye in the morning and he came home from work, sat down opposite me, said he 'needed his space', got up, went into the other room, packed a bag and walked out never to walk back in.

His 'space' turned out to be a 43 year old 5'9 rich blonde who he had been seeing and who had given him an ultimatum. I too was in shock, dropped nearly two stone (about 20lbs) and spent weeks researching how to check out without botching it up.

Because I have MS and am limited in what I can do, I never thought in a million years I would ever again have a life worth living. I was wrong. I ended up meeting someone very special - albeit we too have had our ups and downs - but we're together and stronger for it.

So hang in there babe. It *will* get better, I promise. I know it doesn't seem that way now but I really do believe everything happens for a reason and although we can't see it at the time the reason becomes clear after a while.

Please be strong, look after yourself and know we're here for you.

i felt like dying too. thought about suicide twice. couldn't breath. lost over 20 lbs, couldn't eat, was to nauseas. needed immediate counseling. couldn't stop crying. called him for two months begging, he rejected me everytime. it's been 17 months now. i want to live live live, kept most of the weight off, (good thing), i stopped crying. i stopped calling. i won't allow him to reject me. i have my own life now free of him and his alcoholism, spending, free of him only thinking about himself. life is all about me and mine, life is about what i want it to be about. trust me, i know the place your in. i didn't even feel a bit better until around 4 months. thats when i could finally take a deep breath. your going to be ok, your going to make it. keep comind here, we'll get you through it. it's a long road, but there are so many of us on it. your heart will mend. i still have rough days, but this website and the people here, well you'll never meet a better bunch of people. your not the first, and you won't be the last, you'll be surprised how fast it will be before your telling the next person that they will make it through this, because you will have already done it. stay here for hours if it gets you through. there is always someone here. be strong. you had a life before you met him. remember that.

Sunbrite, I so sorry for you. It makes me sad to see someone going through what you're going through. You have to stay strong for your son. He needs you.

You say you are "living a very unhealthy lifestyle". Be good to yourself and take extra good care of yourself. Find something contructive to keep your mind occupied, like reading books. It will help to push out the loneliness.

Being blindsided by a loved one is the selfish nature of an incomplete person. Know exactly how you feel as my stbx pulled the same here. You do need to take care of yourself and suggest trying not to be friends with someone who would this to you. No contact works wonders. Healing vibes your way.. M

I'm another on who was blind sided. My husband and I stayed over night in AC, the next moring shower together he washed my hair massaged my head and then about 6-7 hours later we where home and he was moving out....Go figure.. He wasn't happy...He wanted to come and go as he pleases and not answer to anyone... well he is gone.... I miss him everyday but I have to move on because this is the 3rd time he has done this to me.No I just have to get my heart to agree with my head and I'll be on the right track...

I understand. I am sorry you are hurting like this. I know just what you feel. I hope one day soon you guys either work this out or you can come to terms with it.

Hugs!!