Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So I've finished moving out of "our" house. My ex already had his stuff out over a week ago. He expects me to help him clean the house so he can get his deposit back. I won't get any of that deposit. He even went so far as to tell me to call his friend's wife to have her help me clean so it would be less work for "us". Yet, he hasn't once come back to that house to pitch in even once yet. Plus, when we first moved in, I was the one who cleaned the whole house by myself. He's the one who cheated, betrayed me and the kids, and ended it. I don't want to be selfish, but he's already pretty much settled in his new place, when I still have boxes sitting in my house and filling my garage. Whenever he gets upset or doesn't hear what he wants from me, he also tries to hold visitation with my step-kids (to whom I've been their only real mother) over my head by saying he doesn't know if I should be around them. He's going out of town soon for 2 weeks and I really want to be able to have them stay with me and my 2 kids who have been their brothers for the past 5 almost 6 years. I am always trying to be the nice/good person when it comes to doing things for people and putting them before myself, even if they don't deserve it. Should I do that now? Or is it time to draw the line and make him clean it himself since he's getting the deposit back? Aaagh! I hate being so nice! But it is sooooo hard to be mean! Should I help, or say screw it and take the risk of not getting to see my step-kids?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Sounds to me you realize that by drawing the line, there may be consequences (not seeing the kids while he is away) and that you are prepared for this. Perhaps it is time to call his bluff and see what he does.
Hope it works out for you.
if he wants his money let him clean.
He knows the best place for the kids is with you. He wants them to be with you too - but is holding your goodness over your head. Screw him.
don't do it, and don't even bother to tell him you're not going to do it. He will assume you are going to. When he talks about it, just say, "mmmmmm". No yes and no no. I f he asks you flat out, say you don't have time - you're busy unpacking since you had to move away from your home.
Bullshit!
DO NOT CLEAN
You are a mom, a single mom now.. and you are under a hell of a lot of stress, and you got to deal with a move and keeping it together.
NO FREAKIN WAY ARE YOU GOING TO CLEAN.
YOU GOT ENUF THINGS TO DO THAN TO GIVE YOUR HARD LABOUR, YOUR TIME FROM YOUR KIDS, YOUR CLEANING SUPPLIES TO CLEAN SO HE GETS HIS MONEY?... I DON'T THINK SO.
calculate the money on supplies, time ?..the labour.. and who will tend to the kids?.. it adds up.. how much would it cost to hire someone?.. you should just call and find out from a service.. and then factor in babysitting.
DO NOT CLEAN...TIME TO MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOUR CHILDREN'S NEEDS.
To scrub the unscrubable stain
To fear the unbearable laundry
To have fun where you've never had fun
REPEAT: DO NOT CLEAN
WASH THAT IDEA OUT OF YOUR MIND NOW!