Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
my story is this......FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS I HAVE BEEN LIVING WITHA MAN WHO HAS BEEN LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE.WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 20+ YEARS. I HAVE BEEN A STAY AT HOME MOM , TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING ON THAT END INCLUDING ALL OF MY TWO GIRLS EMOTIONAL NEEDS.MY HUSBAND WHO IS AN A TYPE PERSONALITY HAS PROVIDED VERY WELL FOR OUR FAMILY FIANCIALLY OVER THE YEARS CLIMBING THE CORPORATE LADDER TO PRESIDENT OF A MAJOR CORPORATION.....
WHEN THE COMPANY WAS BOUGHT OUT , WE DECIDED TO START A BUSINESS WITH TWO OTHER BUSINEES PARTNERS THAT WE HAD KNOWN FOR 10+ YEARS. HERE IS WHERE IT GETS STICKY.......THE OTHER BUSINESS PARTNERS ARE USING OR PAYING CALL GIRLS TO SATISFY THEIR SEXUAL DESIRES WHILE MAINTAINING A NICE LITTLE FAMILY AT HOME. THEY INTRODUCED MY HUSBAND TO THI ACTIVITY AS WELL. I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS NOT VERY SMART ABOUT COVERING HIS TRACKS. HE ADMITTED IT RIGHT AWAY AND SAID HE WOULD STOP, THAT WAS TWO YEARS AGO......WE WENT TO THREE DIFFERENT THERAPISTS AND ALOT OF GARBAGE CAME OUT.....HE ADMITTED THAT HE LOVED ME AND OUR FAMILY BUT THAT HE WAS NOT IN LOVE WITH ME AND HAS NOT BEEN FOR A LONG TIME......WE DECIDED TO TRY AGAIN , WE SOLD OUR BUSINESS MOVED FROM CALIFORNIA BACK TO TEXAS IN JULY....HE ASSURED ME THAT HE WAS NOT SEEING OR PAYING HIS GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE.......I JUST FOUND OUT THIS PAST TWO WEEKS THAT HE NEVER BROKE IT OFF WITH HER AND HAS BEEN PAYING HER SUMS OF MONEY.....
I AM FURIOUS THAT HE MOVED OUR ENTIRE FAMILY TO TEXAS TO START OVER AND FEEL THAT I WAS LIED TOO...... HE SAYS HE WANTED TO TRY TO MAKE THINGS WORK BUT THAT HE NEEDS TO FIND HIS OWN PERSONAL HAPPINESS..........RIGHT NOW HE IS IN CALIFORNIA WITH THIS WOMAN AND WILL BE BACK TOMORROW.....I HAVE OUTED HIS LITTLE SECRET TO BOTH SIDES OF OUR FAMILIES WHICH ARE BOTH CATHOLIC AND THEY ARE HORRIFIED........I FEEL LIKE HE IS MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE AND IS HAVING A MAJOR MIDLIFE CRISIS BUT THIS NEEDS TO COME TO AN END ONE WAY OR ANOTHER..... I AM A STRONG , INTELLIGENT WOMAN AND I NEED A RESOLUTION.....ANY THOUGHTS FROM ANYONE HERE?????
WHEN THE COMPANY WAS BOUGHT OUT , WE DECIDED TO START A BUSINESS WITH TWO OTHER BUSINEES PARTNERS THAT WE HAD KNOWN FOR 10+ YEARS. HERE IS WHERE IT GETS STICKY.......THE OTHER BUSINESS PARTNERS ARE USING OR PAYING CALL GIRLS TO SATISFY THEIR SEXUAL DESIRES WHILE MAINTAINING A NICE LITTLE FAMILY AT HOME. THEY INTRODUCED MY HUSBAND TO THI ACTIVITY AS WELL. I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS NOT VERY SMART ABOUT COVERING HIS TRACKS. HE ADMITTED IT RIGHT AWAY AND SAID HE WOULD STOP, THAT WAS TWO YEARS AGO......WE WENT TO THREE DIFFERENT THERAPISTS AND ALOT OF GARBAGE CAME OUT.....HE ADMITTED THAT HE LOVED ME AND OUR FAMILY BUT THAT HE WAS NOT IN LOVE WITH ME AND HAS NOT BEEN FOR A LONG TIME......WE DECIDED TO TRY AGAIN , WE SOLD OUR BUSINESS MOVED FROM CALIFORNIA BACK TO TEXAS IN JULY....HE ASSURED ME THAT HE WAS NOT SEEING OR PAYING HIS GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE.......I JUST FOUND OUT THIS PAST TWO WEEKS THAT HE NEVER BROKE IT OFF WITH HER AND HAS BEEN PAYING HER SUMS OF MONEY.....
I AM FURIOUS THAT HE MOVED OUR ENTIRE FAMILY TO TEXAS TO START OVER AND FEEL THAT I WAS LIED TOO...... HE SAYS HE WANTED TO TRY TO MAKE THINGS WORK BUT THAT HE NEEDS TO FIND HIS OWN PERSONAL HAPPINESS..........RIGHT NOW HE IS IN CALIFORNIA WITH THIS WOMAN AND WILL BE BACK TOMORROW.....I HAVE OUTED HIS LITTLE SECRET TO BOTH SIDES OF OUR FAMILIES WHICH ARE BOTH CATHOLIC AND THEY ARE HORRIFIED........I FEEL LIKE HE IS MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE AND IS HAVING A MAJOR MIDLIFE CRISIS BUT THIS NEEDS TO COME TO AN END ONE WAY OR ANOTHER..... I AM A STRONG , INTELLIGENT WOMAN AND I NEED A RESOLUTION.....ANY THOUGHTS FROM ANYONE HERE?????
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
It sounds like you feel extremely betrayed and your husband has not been completely honest with you about his infidelity.
Whether you decide to end your relationship with your husband is a decision you have to make on your own. We\'re here to support you and share our experiences and information to help you in the decision-making process.
I\'d like to start off the information with a link to Marriage Builders\' page on How to Survive Infidelity: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html
The Marriage Builders site does try to promote their books and Dr. Harley\'s services, but the free content on their site is pretty comprehensive without purchasing any of their products.
Welcome to DS and thanks for sharing with us.
I have some advice as I am a fellow Catholic who just found out that my wife of 15 years has had a double life for several years as well. Yes, outing this to both families was a good idea. You will find out who really cares about your family now. Get to the bottom of this filth no matter how hard or expensive as long as the kids don\'t find out too much or suffer too much. Note, they can now learn what not to do based on what their Dad (and my wife) have done. Do not take off your ring until the divorce (assuming this happens) occurs as we are Catholics. Get the guy help if he will take or at least offer it so you can sleep at night. While the marital problems are both of your faults as no one is perfect, he decided to be a jerk and ruin your family-just like my wife did. Explain to your kids honestly what is going on without ripping their Dad and/or give too many details. Pray your a.. off-I was in church this am at 5:30am. Keep taking your kids to church. Also, try to get a life yourself as if you are no good to anyone if you aren\'t healthy.
They say the partner who is screwing around will be euphoric and in denial for 6 mos or so, while you are messed up. Then you become healthier and they now realize the impact of what they have done. Maybe you can rebuild-maybe (and probably) not. Tell the kids to not hold out hope so as to not disappoint them. Circle the wagons with good friends/family who are there for you and your kids. Don\'t worry about what he is doing as you can\'t control him anyway.
Best of luck.....my prayers are with you.
Dean
While I know this is very hard for you right now, you have to be truthful and honest with yourself and your family and friends.
You don\'t have to go into tons of detail, use just a friend or two to confide in (I call my two friends my break-up buddies:-)... but there are there for me whenever I need them. Please use your close friends and family to talk this through and seek help for yourself.
Also, don\'t loose sight of professional help and the benefit it can provide. I started seeing my counselor late November and wish I had started last June when I uncovered my husband\'s emotional attachment to this other woman. Since September he has been with her 4 weekends and I found myself on an emotional rollercoaster, I have since gotten professional help, understand more about my emotions and why I am feeling/acting the way I do to my husband.
It has been very beneficial.
BTW... I\'m an ex-catholic, but still very religious, my wedding ring has been off since my husband left. I will not pretend to be married to someone who doesn\'t want to be married to me or love me.
It is important to think about you and how your are handling this. For if you are okay, your kids will be okay.
Good luck to you.