I am done. I can no longer continue the battles with stbx for the pain is to great. I have hit rock bottom. I did fight hard in the beginning and thought my sons would be a part of my life. I feel great pain and hurt to continue. I mentioned in a prior discussion I became involved again and to answer the question on a previous thread titled "soul mate" it is true. I married in "1996" and did have love for my wife. Then we began the seperation process July "2007". I wanted shared visitation and it was was agreed upon and one week later I was served R/O to manipulate the judicial system in stbx favour. Three months later I met somebody and yes to many they would call this a premature decision especially with children involved. Let me call her "Kar" and when our eyes met I knew a true soul mate is true. The love I have for Kar is greater than any emotion and feeling one can feel. As a man I never thought this possible for fairy tales are an illusion. Well, we decided to move in together and bring our children together and we all were blissful. I did emphasize the importance that our relationship by moving in together we would have up and downs until I was completed with my process. She didn't care for it was important for us to be as one. Her feelings for me I felt would not change as I felt for her forever and a day. With the closing of a business it was difficult financially and having up and downs through the seperation process had placed a burden upon us. In my heart we were gaining way for my sons to be back into shared visitation. Stbx continued with allegations and involved Kar and her sons and I must say annother burden. In the year Kar and I were together I felt it would be over soon with stbx and we will rejoice and be soul mates for life. But, as I said ealier being hit with allegation after annother causeing stress in our relationship it became to over whelming for her and I was told Monday it was over. Devestation I feel. My point even though I was married to stbx my feelings were stronger for Kar and in my heart I will not love again like her. Premature to say I must say no for one will know this in their heart and soul. But, because of this new seperation I must say I have placed myself in a position of emotions that are difficult to handle. My sons I love more than the world itself but not fair to them I continue to fight for stbx will continue and it will be best for them in hopes of understanding when they are older why I made the decision. As for Kar I know in discussion with her and her family they were concerned that stbx may cause harm to her in one form or annother. So, I feel a soul mate I thought was destin for life became short lived. I will never forget her but will find it diffult to to understand her decision to end this relatiionship when one knew the consequences of beginning one. So, Soul Mate one can feel and loose. We often ask ourselves and the other but, why does it has to be this way. Love, I learned is not only to feel of inner desire for one but the loss of someone you thought Loved you the same way.
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