The truth does hurt. I just found out after so many lies, that my STBX met the OW at a Shell gas stop, while they were getting coffee he asked her name and phone number and the rest is history. He was seeing her 2 months before he moved out. It just so happens that it was the same time frame when he decided life with me was not what he wanted and that I dragged him down. Of course, he says it is not cheating because he has not had sex with her, is sleeping on the floor of her apartment and is only living with her (sure, baby, I buy that one) but I told him what you feel in your heart and lust after whether you consummate that lust is still breaking the bonds of marriage. Here is the hard part. Up to 2 weeks before he left, we had planned out our vacations for 2007 to go to Vegas in September and to Chicago for Christmas and even booked hotels 8 days before he left. Less than 7 days before he left, I told him that I was so happy that we were best friends and he shook his head and agreed. The Sunday he left he wrote me from work and told me he loved me. He had planned for 2 months before that to leave. I asked him why did he lead me on with the planning, sending me emails about love and even giving me kisses and hugs the VERY DAY BEFORE HE LEFT, etc., and he said he didnt want to let on he was leaving until it was more concrete. That just made the breakup that much harder. He told me today that she makes more money than me and that she is just as pretty as me and that they have a lot of fun together, AS FRIENDS ONLY! He said he doesnt want anything bad to happen to me, but I am not his problem anymore and to get over it. Well forgive me for saying so, but FUCK HIM. I am a mess and feel like if I could just die the pain would stop. It even gets worse. One week before he left, my dad was told he had less than 6 months to live (His kidneys are failing and so is his heart), our son just got back from training to be a Marine (I had not seen him for 5 months) and told us he gets deployed to Iraq around the end of the year. My son and I are very close and he is now stationed 4 hours away and will see him some before he deploys. Every part of my life is hurting and because I gave up all my friends for him, I hate this shit. Just had to tell someone. This is the worst day of my life and I feel that if I had just been more, did more, was better, he would have stayed. My head tells me that not all men are like that, but my heart believes I will never find love again because I am worth nothing and all men are alike.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...