What happened? I am 55 years old. I was married the first time for 20 years and I didn't cheat on my husband. In spite of the gross alcohol problems and infidelity that my husband had gotten into at least I felt that he still desired me. My second husband of 12 years made me sign a prenuptial before we married. All of our expenses were separate except that he did pay the house mortgage(very low). He was always telling me that I was lucky that I didn't have to pay rent. We stopped sleeping together for the past 3 years and he only made snide remarks to me as to why I couldn't turn him on anymore. He was pushing me hard to find work after I had to quit my last job due to some temporary health problems that I was having. I couldn't find work so I moved in with my children that lived 250 miles away. I met my employer and in three weeks we were falling in love. We moved in together and lived for 4 months and I was the happiest that I have been in so many long years. Even happier than I was the first time I fell in love b/c my bf is sweeter and more mature than my first husband.

Long story short, I went back to my husband b/c he was doing his best to make everything right. He bought me an almost new car and paid cash. He bought me a lot of clothes. We were doing better and I was having some feelings for him. Although I couldn't respond sexually for my husband. He had put me down physically so much in the past that I couldn't feel that he meant what he said. One of the only reasons that I started having feelings for my husband is b/c I thought maybe my bf didn't care for me as much as I thought. My bf started writing me and he let me know w/o doubt that he was madly in love with me. I stayed in touch with him and my husband found out that I had been emailing him some. I even let our Church friends that were helping to pray for us that I had this temptation going and that I was trying my best to stop emailing him. I could stop up to a couple of months and then I would think I was going insane...I missed him so so so much! My husband in the meantime only got worse and worse in monitoring my every move. He only worked about 12 hours a week so he could watch me. He put a keylogger on my computer and started taping my phone conversations.

Anyway I felt like I could have loved my husband again at one time but when he went into the excessive monitoring and he seemed to be my constant shadow...I began to feel abused to say the least.