I want to answer you, but I am afraid to say it. I do not want to draw critics. I just want to say this for my own benifit. I do not want to offend anyone.

Q. - Why don't they suffer?

A. - Maybe they no longer have a soul.

Sound reasonable enough?

Zoot,that was my thought exactly. It is what my daughter said too. They have no souls, or they are so lost it is incredible. In that way I feel sorry for them. Sorry if we draw critics for thinking it.

My daughter and I have found comfort in the church lately. Spooky how many of the sermons included words and thoughts we had just spoken the week before.

dont think about it that way, think about how great your life can be now. learn from your mistakes. learn to love yourself and most of all to forgive them . its all part of the healing process. if you stay bitter you will never be able to get over them or be happy. everyone deserves to be happy. weather you'd like to accept it or not, not everyone is completely innocent. learn to live and love yourself, cause at the end of the day, you just have yourself to live with. remember " never, always,forever,and ever" are just words with no real meaning

Life is not fair.
There is such a thing as Karma.

Hi Bert,

How do you know they don't suffer. You can't read their minds. Try not to concentrate on the OW or your ex. Think about yourself. My brother told me that when I start thinking of my ex .... I should stop immediately and say "NEXT" ... ruminating and thinking about the OW and ex will only hurt you more. They are out of your life.... so start building a life for yourself. I know it can be done because I have experienced a lot of bad things in my life and eventually I was able to feel whole again.

Hang in there and please do not give up hope. You will be happy again. I can almost guarantee it.

Head 88, I forgave them before he left me and I owned my responsibility in the situation. I offered to do whatever he wanted to make it right; he offered nothing.

Alex, I hope you are right, that I will be happy again. I try not to think about it, but at times I imagine them together in the evening while I am here alone. They are living it up while the rest of the family suffers.

It is also hard to get them out of my mind since the OW is a family member and I occasionally get updates from her side of the family.

Okay, one more note. I also know he doesn't suffer since he emailed one of my close friends and said he finally feels like a man again and is having the time of his life. He can't understand why we aren't happy for them!

My wife cheated on her previous 3 marriages, so who is the real dummy here? (me)

Live and let live. I'm ready to move on without her.

As for do they ever suffer, as a reformed cheater my self I can tell you there came a time I was so upset about what I had done, I had to make amends.

So, Rob how did you make amends?