omg,,i have never been so confused,,hurt,,lost in all my life,,,PLEASE HELP..i am a 30 year old male who just got married 8 months ago,,my wedding day was 1 of the greatest days of my life..My wife told me years before we got married that if i wouldnt marry her,,she was going to leave me..so i asked her to marry me on christmas day,,because for 1,,i didnt want her to leave,,and i did love her,,my wife was my first girlfriend,,,my wife took my viriginty from me..me and my wife never really ever talked threwout our relationship,,i love to talk,,she dosent..about 2 years before we got married my wife wouldnt sleep with me,,,i went 18 months with no kissing,,no touching,,we would pass each other in the house and there was no affection,,,i would try to hug her,,,she wouldnt let me,,or hit me away,,telling me not to touch her..I ASKED WHY..she said it was because i talked to other women online,,,which i did,,but i talked to these other women because my wife wouldnt talk to me,,she didnt want to here anything i had to say,,,i never talked to these other women about anything important,,daily stuff,,chit chat..my wife said she grew away from me because of this..so i stopped talking to them all..6 months later nothing changed..still no affection,,no help paying bills,,,no help with house work..my wife had 4 cats in our small home,,,i said 12 times no darling,,we cannot have more cats,,our house is to small,,,but she wouldnt take that for a answer..i told her 2 cats have to go,,she said if the cats go,,she goes,,i couldnt understand why she just wouldnt give into my wishes..after all this we still got married...we have been married for 8 months and have had sex 2 times..she tells me she just dosent feel like it..i asked her to help with bills and she will not help me..ITS NOT MY BILL..its your electric bill,,your names on it,,,,but she enjoys haveing electricity..people gave us 4000.00 at our wedding for gifts,,,we split it and was suspose to go on vacation,,my share went to paying car insurance on her car,,and she went to cuba with her share..this hurt me,,why wouldnt she wait?????she also started sleeping on the sofa,,,i would ask her to come to bed with me,,she would for about 20 mins till i fell asleep,,then she would leave,,said i snored to loud..i have been with my wife for 8 years and have never said the words I HATE YOU,,but she has said it to me atleast 50 times..she has also told me many of times that if i dont chage what im doing,,or if i got here with this person,,or there with that person that shes going to leave me,,i also believe that she is hideing her money from me,,as she makes 1500 a month and pays no bills but says she never has any money..i admit that i am far from perfect,,i love women,,how they look,,everything about them,,but i have NEVER CHEATED,,i actually gave up all my girl and guy friends for my wife,,and basically never left the house for 6 years..i am tired of living this way,,i am tired of wanting a woman sexually,,,but cant have my wife,,because she wont have me,,and not beeing able to turn to another woman because i am married,,i feel as if i am wasteing my younger life,,,WE HAVE NO CHILDREN,,,NOOOO CHILDREN...2 months ago i asked my wife to leave,,,,she did and is now living to her parents house,,,MY WIFE IS 23 YEARS OLD..she actually has it better living at her parents house than she does with me,,, money wise...she tells all her friends that i am killling her on the inside because i wont let her come home,,,it seems like everyone is on her side,,,i care more about her feelings than i do my own,,i have gave up everything,,and am thinking on giving her this home,,and moving out on the streets,,just so she will be happy,,,i dont think i will be happy with her because she will not touch me in a sexual way..i made a promise to god that i would always be with this woman,,,we have gone to see counclers but nothing has changed,,we are both very stubburn people,,,she was a only child and was spoiled,,and i feel like she dosent love me,,she just wants her way of life back..i have found another woman who treats me with respect,,another woman who is my same age and who i have alot incommen with,,were happy together,,but i and her both still have this big guilt issue,,my problem is the WHAT IFS,,,what if i take my wife back and lose this other woman,,WHO i love,,and my wife goes right back to treating me how she treats me???WHAT IF i dont take my wife back,and she changes and treats another man perfect,,and my new girlfriend ends up beeing worse than my wife????i just want to be happy and the sad part of the whole thing is EVERYSAYS,,,do what will make you happy,,,,but I DONT KNOW what will make me happy,,,this is about the worst spot a man could ever be in,,,i am a shell of myself and can hardly get threw a day,,,i dont want to hurt anyone..even though IM the one hurting the most,,i wish i would have never got married,,I HATE beeing married,,i want to be faithfull and honust to 1 woman,,but i want affection and love in return,,i dont want to waste anyones life..sometimes i wish i could just move 40000 miles so i wouldnt have to see anyone,,,i dont know what to do,,i am full of emotions,,i harp on this shit to my friends..i feel as if im beeing a downer,,i am a very happy person and i love life,,,but the WHAT IFS are killing me..i dont want to be alone for the rest of my life,,i want a close knit relationship with a woman who i can love and be there bestfriend..i tryed this life with my wife,,,it was good alot of times,,,,but when it was bad it was real bad..i feel like a loser because i cannot make up my mind..my wife has good points,,I KNOW she dosent lie,,dosent cheat,,but she wont talk to me,,or sleep with me,,show me any affection,,,the new girl i am seeing,,i have known for over a year,,,she is also a very good woman..i love her..she talks...sorry for all the rambelling,,,if there is anyone male or female who is in my boots or has been in my boots,,please give me some rock hard advice,,,and please dont tell me to stay with my wife,,,REMEMBER,,,im the 1 getting the emotional abuse,,,would you people want me to stay if she was beating me with a hammer????
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...