I have been struggling with the thought of leaving my husband for over a year now. We have three kids (his, mine and ours) and my husband is an alcoholic. One year ago he trie to kill himself, in the next room while the kids and I were having dinner. I always used the kids as an excuse not to leave but lately its so bad that I dont really think its hurting them more for me to stay married. I am finally getting over the fear of losing everything when i leave. He of course tells me to go but then 15 minutes later he is begging me to stay...he dont work, sleeps half the day and spends the rest of the day being rude and crude to me and the kids. We rent our home but I dont understand why he doesnt leave, why do i have to save the money to move (while paying the bills here), start all over and leave everything i have worked so hard for behind. I pray every week in church for strength...i just dont know what im so afraid of? I know i want a divorce, we are totally differnt ppl, we havent acted like a real married couple (slept together, kiss, hold hands) in months.
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