I am of two minds. I don\'t want him to call the children and ruin my day, and yet I know he needs to call the children. He needs to continue to make the effort to talk to his children, who refuse to talk to him. He has lied to them and done so many hurtful things. Yet, in all of his phone calls, he argues with them and blames the children and me, for everything. All white touting the wonders of his new \'shack-up honey\'. I want to grab the phone and tell him if he would just admit his wrong, perhaps there would be a starting point for establishing a new relationship with his adult children. But, thank goodness, my mom (a woman of true wisdom) interjected and told me, he won\'t hear you until he knows the truth himself, and then you won\'t have to tell him anything. Yet, I worry about all the children are going through, yes they are adults but, it still hurts them and especially at this time of the year. They too are finding it difficult to believe all that has happened in the past few months. Our youngest son, holds everything in, although we talk about it, but he says he just wants Dad to admit to doing wrong and then to change his character. He says since his father won\'t, he has nothing to say, but he he(our youngest) is very angry. Our daughter, the middle adult, is also angry because of all the lies he has told everyone about me and our leaving home(actually he kicked us out),and the continued lies about my fidelity(what a joke when he was the one who was unfaithful), and our oldest, he just says that he has no father. Yet, here I sit in the midst of all this, when their father called them on their cell phones, trying to do the right thing and encourage them to answer the phone, and they wouldn\'t. Yet, it was only half-hearted that I wanted them to speak to their father. I didn\'t want him to upset them, on Christmas as he has with any other day, and I didn\'t feel he even deserved to talk to them considering how he betrayed me. I know that these issues are separate. I may(I do) hate their father. But that\'s between me and him. What he did to them, I told him the night he kicked me out, \"The relationship you have with your children, will not longer be maintained by me. It will totally depend on you.\" I meant that, and yet, I don\'t want to see them angry with themselves because they want to have a relationship with their father and angry because he has failed to create an honest relationship with them. What a quandry.
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