My ex has just called to talk to my son (I have him at the weekends hes 5) every time she calls its like a knife in my belly it's been 3 months since she walked out. I know it's not healty to think about her and what she is doing but I spent 11 years loving her still do truth be told but she does not even want to see me it hurts every single day I miss her so much the pain inside I fear wil never go away I long to be able to hold her like I used too all I keep saying is why no one else involved she just wanted to be on her own well thats what she says I don't know the situation is killing me inside day after miserable day I wish and pray that one day she will change her mind but the ladies not for turning I am a vain self centred arrogant man but also kind caring and honest and did everything I could but it was never enough she grew to resent me over the years maybe I killed her love for me with kindness who knows just feel so sad and lonely all the time I have lots of friends and family around me but the one person that can stop this pain does not want to know love hurts so bad never felt as bad in my life I just want to curl up and die some days when the pain gets too much to bear why ho why have you done this am I selfish for feeling like this yes I am
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