How do you let go? Even worse, how do you let go after you thought you did, but you fell right back into it again, only to be rejected by them this time? I have had no contact for 5 days, the last time I heard from him was Friday, not even sure why he called then. He said he wanted to move on, I accepted it and let him go......again, then he continues to email and call me the next day. Now, nothing...... I am in such a deep state of depression I feel like I am sleepwalking. I thought I was passed this, I had moved on, then I find out he has someone knew and I go off the deep end. Maybe there is something wrong with me that I seek out this drama and rejection.
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Some good news about me. Last Thursday my wife and I went to a children's Christmas program at an elementary school. It was very crowded. I actually enjoyed it. I had no over powering intrusive thoughts all though I was anxious about going. For me this is huge. Hopefully it will continue.
im gunna loose my driving license and might loose my disabilty car too. If i remain stable for 3 months i can get it back. I cant deal with loosing my license again for the 3rd time. Even more reason to kill myself on top of the other 12 reasons.