Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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the nastiest dirtiest trick ever how do i cope????

deleted_user
deleted_user
been with husband 22 years 3 beautiful kids ,,have lived the fairy tale ,,,i built my life up on love and good morals,,,i had it all .......i also had a very close family who i lived for,,,,,,life was good so ithought,,,,,,,the last year tho me and my husband got stuck in a rut and life went stale i desperatley wanted things to work,,,,,,one night i woke up and looked at him whilst he was sleeping and realised i was losing him...............a wave of sadness engulfed me ...........i tried to talk to him but he did seem to have no intrest he didnt want to do anything or go anywhere,,,before long he left and i was devastated....after..weeks of mind games i was at breaking point,,,,,he loved me but not enough,,,,,,if i didnt contact him i would be heartless ,,,,if i did i was ott and pestering him,,,,,,,he said he would come back and he did love me but wanted it to be right first and he wanted to marry me again,,,,,,,,,.then he went cold again, my sister in law through it all was my tower of strength,,,,,,,i confided in her and would take her out for meals and together we would pour our hearts out ,,,i told her how much i loved him and how special he was too me,,,,,,,,,,i told her how much i was going to change .
Imagine the shock when i discovered the trail of deciet,,,,,,,,which led to her and him having an affair!!!!!!!!!
it has shattered my entire family my brother is gutted,,,,,,i cannott put it into words the despair i felt,,,,,in the middle my son has just taken his exams,,,,,
i took some consolation when his brother came to visit and told me she had tried to entice him too ,,
so imagine how disgusted i felt when they all went out for the evening and came back to her house which is only 100 steps from my door,,
i,d asked my husband out of respect fr me and the kids not to mess on the doorstep he agrreed and went ahead and did it,,,,,,
i am surrounded by animals that are treating me barbaric i am trying to be strong but really dont know how much more i can take,,,,l
as the final insult my 16 yr old son tells me he may be moving out which will affect me working and have a knock on effect me being able to afford the house ,,,
if thats not bad enough he is trying to rub my nose in it poison the kids against me mask hiself as the glory parent,,,,,,pose as the victim and how badly he was treated by me HE IS NOTHING SHORT OF A SICK N TWISTED BASXXXD GIVE ME STRENGTH
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think I actually felt my breakfast come up while reading your story! What a heartless man and sister in law!!! I am so sorry for you. The absolute only positive thing out of this is hopefully you and your brother can be strong together through this and lean on each other during this very hard time!!! I am thinking of you!
solongbye
solongbye
Your children will see through the lies he is telling, you are not the one who had the affair. My poor x tries to blame me for his drug use, affairs, leaving his family for his whore etc. "if only I had appreciated him and treated him better...." my children know the truth. In the end the only thing you have is your character and the love of your friends and children. He and she are making fools of themselves and ruining their families. I know it is hard, I have lived it, but I have my children, and my respect. No matter how unhappy I was I did the honorable thing, and so did you. Good Luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is just unbelievable. And your own sister in law to boot. Sounds like lots of turmoil and very little chance at ever patching it up. Lots of hurt people from you to the kids to your brother.
Hugs to you! Wish I had advice but my jaw is still on the ground.
deleted_user
deleted_user
People are different. If I were in your situation, I would just stop. Stop thinking about him, stop thinking about the other woman. Stop thinking about the children...for a minute and focus on what YOU need to do for yourself right now. You need to take some positive steps to put yourself in a stronger position - both financially and mentally. Is there someone (outside of all this mess) who you can lean on for support. Start looking for ways to get yourself going in a positive direction. Once you start, your momentum will build and it will keep you going, even in the tough times - and there will be plenty of that ahead. Stay in touch.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm just wondering where your 16 year old plans to move and why he doesn't need your O.K. to do it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm just wondering where your 16 year old plans to move and why he doesn't need your O.K. to do it.
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