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the living situation

deleted_user
deleted_user
i am still living here at the house with stbx. he's refused to get out of the marital bed and sleep elsewhere and my attorney says not to leave the marital bed either. GOD only knows why. I dont. well, last night, if you've read my posts was hell cause apparently he invited the x girlfreind from ions ago who lives across the street from us to a comedian show at the church. Mind you, he says he is agnostic. anyway i had quite the night with the surprise of her presence thare sitting on one end, he on the other, her son and my 2 in the middle. when i got home i read to the boys and put them to bed as mostly usual. well. in the middle of the night, he put his hand on me and i f'n dont appreciate it at all. AT ALL!! does that suck or what. i do NOT want he anywhere near me , let alone putting his f'n hand on me.

what do i do?

i said to him when it happened "Get your hand the hell off of me" and went back to sleep.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I really don't understand the whole "attorney says not to leave the marital bed" thing. I've read that you shouldn't leave the home but never heard of not leaving the bed. I also find it strange that your attorney hasn't given you a reason for that, or have you not asked? Just seems weird.
deleted_user
deleted_user
well, perhaps you are right and perhaps Its time for me to ask her why. cause i dont want to put up with any more crap at night.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i asked my attorney tonight why she said not to leave the marital bed. she said because where else would i sleep? isaid the couch and she said that is why. because after 3 or 5 months of sleeping like that i'll end up wanting to move out aand she doesnt want that. Besides he'll be in the bed and think he has the control.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds like he is trying to drive you out. I spent three months in the same bed with stbx. Eventually it ended and I hope the same for you. Can you think of any creative ways to drive him out?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Pardon my french, but that's crap! There are legal consequences if you are the one to leave the house, but not for moving into the guest room, the living room, or your kid's room. You can either play hardball and tell him the next unwanted advance will be 'unwanted touching' (a battery) or you can just buy a single bed and sleep somewhere else in the house. Be careful not to let your attorneys make things worse with crazy suggestions like sleeping together just to get the upper hand!
deleted_user
deleted_user
my stbx said he'd rather share the same bed with me..he'd also like to be able to talk with his gf whenever he wanted to, even in front of me!!! My stbx has been bedhopping since not all the kids are home at the same time...don't know what he's going to do when we are all home for the holidays...he'll have to go to the couch, i'm not giving up the bed. if he wants to sleep in the same bed...NOPE better not touch me...it's like he is "dirty" since he has a gf. i tried to sleep with him once...it was such an empty feeling.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Could you go buy a twin bed? Or two of them? doesn't your attorney realize the mental anguish this is causing you? I understand her "theory" of not wanting to give up ground, but at some point...you've got to find a way to live. Maybe it's that I'm a "mouthy broad"...or as my sister puts it "we are tough chicks". I'd go get two twin beds, when they were delivered...let them take the old bed away! You give up little ground t hat way but YOU take some control back too!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Eat lots of beans just before bedtime.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wait...reinventing is sort of onto something! Not beans...perfume! What an excellent idea, he's taking out another woman...let him take one out with your "perfume" all over him. Go buy some cheap perfume tht you actually like...spray the bed linen with it...HIS side....I mean DOUSE it, pillows too!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Two things....

#1. Get a lock for your bedroom door (the kind where you need the key to lock it).

#2. Tell hubby that if he touches you again, you will have him arrested for criminal sexual conduct. Yep, that's right! My brother-in-law is an undersheriff and he said that it doesn't matter if you're married....if they make sexual advances without your permission.....it's sexual assault! Maybe even get it on a recording when you've verbally warned him. Certified letter? LOL!

My X was the same way. He wouldn't keep his hands to himself.....until I threatened to press charges :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't know what kind of legal advice you are getting but I would get a different attorney.

I could not stand the thought of living with my husband after his weird manipulations.

Alexandria
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yeah, this is not the first time from Virginia I have heard don't leave the marital home, but I think you are more likely to leave if you have to keep sleeping with him! Pick a room and make it yours, or have the large bed replaced.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is the silliest thing Ive ever heard!(from your lawyer) if you really are worried about the "marital bed" drag it to the curb and sleep on the floor, thus , you didn't leave it, it left you! and def. press charges against him if he touches you inappropriately! my stbx did and I should have and now Im paying for it! he said "you are my wife and I will touch you anywhere I want when ever I want!" I told him to check again it was a marraige license not a deed!
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