that now that I have hit rock bottom depression I have discovered I should have been laughing when he dumped me. Gosh...why the heck did I love him anyway? I was never good enough for him. All he did was put me down. He was a huge control freak and never stopped trying to mould me into something in his head. And I have been upset he left? I know we were married 24 years, but if I had a big thorn in my foot 24 years I would be happy when someone finally pulled it out. I may be alone and middle aged but at least no one in this house is going to degrade me tonight. Hey the dawn is creeping in on me....... it's a GOOD THING he left me I wasn't happy the last 20 years anyway. He has managed to belittle me for 20 years & for some stupid reason I thought my world fell apart when he left. I refuse to shed another tear for someone who never deserved all the love they got.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...