Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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The ex is expecting

deleted_user
deleted_user
For those of you who know my story, you know that I just recently finalized my divorce last Wednesday. After nine years, three miscarriages, and irreconcialable differences my husband and his mistress made it apparent to me that it was over. I found out that they are expecting and have posted it all over mutual friends' myspace pages. When I logged in today it auctomatically shows when someone on your friends list has uploaded photos and BAM there it was. The sonogram of their baby boy. I know some of you all have endured the loss of a preganancy/child as I have. I feel as though that was supposed to be my life - and SHE'S living it now. I'm desperately seeking guidance from my DS friends. Encouraging words, insight, anything really that someone has said to uplift you. I feel like I'm going thru the pain of miscarriage all over again. My heart is absolutely broken.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, I can't fathom your pain. I am so, so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks. I know it's absolutely unhealthy and completely psychotic, but I saved the sonogram pic and opened in in "Paint" and am doodling each of their worst features all over this poor baby. Is there really any healthy way to handle it?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am very sorry, I can't even imagine how you are feeling. My thoughts are with you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Stephanie, that is an awful situation to be in. I don't think it is psychotic behavior, I think it is just an expression of your emotional pain. At least your statement recognizes that even though you are doodling, you realize it is not the baby's fault. It is a cruel slap that you have been dealt, no doubt about it. I wish I had more to give you but today is just not a day where my thoughts are altogether clear. Nonetheless, I do realize a little bit where you are coming from. Give it time, and if you want to talk about this with me at some point soon, my brain will be back in business in a day or so. ((((Big Hugs))))
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can't even explain it. It seems the last two hours I've gone thru a range of emotions. Such sadness. I typically suppress these feelings, so it's so hard to allow myself to sob.
deleted_user
deleted_user
What a damn pisser. That just SUCKS!!

However, as a Mother of three, trust me, it aint all it's cracked up to be. Sure there are moments but,really the first 25 years are mostly exhausting and expensive and with no thanks. So sit back watch and enjoy. Every morning you wake up with more than 4 hours of sleep, knock on wood! Oh and travel!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Motherhood is a blessing no matter which way it's scued. I directed a daycare for years, and prior to that was a fulltime caregiver. Being blessed with a child has been my dream since I was very young. I'm just feeling a since of mourning once again like I did after each discouraging loss. Those moments of exhaustion, expense and thankless sacrifice are a part of a dream. Unconditional dream - downfalls and all. I'd be blessed, absolutely blessed to look into the eyes of my child! And there's not one day that goes by that I ache for it. Today's pain is just magnified by his blessing. It just feels wrong. As nasty as he was to me in the end, and he is blessed. That void, loss, hole will never be filled.
deleted_user
deleted_user
sweetie you are still so young, he wasn't the one for you and as fate would have it you avoided custody battles and alike.. your time will come when you find the right man.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks HurtingE. I know you're right, and I have faith that the right man will come along and "sweep" me off my feet. I'm trying to be optimistic...eek
deleted_user
deleted_user
You just hang in there. First of all...delete them from your friends list...out of sight, out of mind. You DO NOT need any reminders of their life together. Next the best revenge is for you to find happiness on your own. You need to fill up your life...try some volunteering, going out with friends, new activities in your community...meet new people. Date a bit...doesn't have to be serious. Basically stay busy because if you aren't, you are going to dwell on what you don't have rather than what you do have...and if you ask me it's a lucky escape.

I'm so sorry about your loses.
deleted_user
deleted_user
.

Try to concentrate on yourself and your own life, it is YOU that is important.

.
patti22
patti22
Think of that child and the pain he/she will go through when their dad has another affair and leaves again. You will not need to face that pain in your own child's eyes. If you and your ex couldn't make it...do you really think that they will be able to. A new baby brings lots of stress and ends the honeymoon quick.
deleted_user
deleted_user
What a thoughtless slam. Stephanie I'm so sorry they would do that to you. I too have 4 angels in heaven. And waged a war with infertility. My best friend who wasn't trying and had just gotten married got pregnant in front of me. I struggled with trying to be happy for her. That kind of pain alone is to much to handle then you compound that with a divorce. These folks are rotten, selfish, thoughtless people. How do you cope? I wish I knew what advice would be right for you. You have so much to grieve. Try to surround yourself with supportive people. They have infertilit support groups on inciid.org. They are wonderful. I will pray that god send you peace and shelter from the pain.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know this sounds bad but.....that poor baby, to have a poor excuse for a man as a dad and a homewrecking bimbo as a mom....yikes.
Your life will go on,and think about all the children out there who need a momma just like you.Somewhere there is a child hurting just like you.I am here for you ok?
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are all astounding, wonderful people. I feel so much better after a few hours of sleep and prayer. I can't express how greatful I am to have such awesome people who can empathize with my situation. I NEVER feel alone anymore. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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