Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I was divorced in July after a year of hell. Basically, my wife at the time was trying to force me into going for a divorce. She finally filed and got everything. So I know the horrible times that many of you have right now if you are still in the throws of a separation or divorce.
I want you all to know that it does get better. Not because time passes, but because you work at making something better of yourself. If you're just waiting around for things to get better, they won't.
I'm still in a transition period. I don't have a new life planned out before me. I don't have an intimate relationship with anybody new. I haven't even decided what I want to do about work. Did I mention I lost my job ten days after my divorce?
Last night I got "THE CALL" from my ex. Friday night at 10 PM. "hmm... I'm considering the idea that we are good together".
Since then I've been trying to tell her that we can't talk because we had issues while we were married. We got more issues during the divorce. We got more issues after the divorce. In fact, she's in another relationship (boyfriend) right now. My position is that it's useless to "talk" without some sort of counseling for the talking. This is mostly for my sanity.
By the way, she mentioned that the divorce is just a piece of paper. My response is that she must be cheating on me then if she has a boyfriend. She says he came after the divorce. I can accept that statement. It doesn't really matter when he came along anyway.
This morning she insisted we talk after she gets off of work this afternoon. I declined. She got angry and said "right, we shouldn't talk". Then changed it again and insisted we were going to talk after work. Like I don't have a say-so any more.
I feel physically ill. I am now nauseus and feel like I'm going to throw up. But I have plans to go get my three year old from her grandmother and take her out for a little while.
My point for this post.
If you think you may want to reconcile, don't wait until six months after the divorce. Too much blood has been spilt. It's absurd to think that everything can be fixed when everyone has started moving on different paths.
If I can convince somebody of getting help and reconciling before the divorce, then this post has served it's purpose. I promise you, it's much more difficult later.
I want you all to know that it does get better. Not because time passes, but because you work at making something better of yourself. If you're just waiting around for things to get better, they won't.
I'm still in a transition period. I don't have a new life planned out before me. I don't have an intimate relationship with anybody new. I haven't even decided what I want to do about work. Did I mention I lost my job ten days after my divorce?
Last night I got "THE CALL" from my ex. Friday night at 10 PM. "hmm... I'm considering the idea that we are good together".
Since then I've been trying to tell her that we can't talk because we had issues while we were married. We got more issues during the divorce. We got more issues after the divorce. In fact, she's in another relationship (boyfriend) right now. My position is that it's useless to "talk" without some sort of counseling for the talking. This is mostly for my sanity.
By the way, she mentioned that the divorce is just a piece of paper. My response is that she must be cheating on me then if she has a boyfriend. She says he came after the divorce. I can accept that statement. It doesn't really matter when he came along anyway.
This morning she insisted we talk after she gets off of work this afternoon. I declined. She got angry and said "right, we shouldn't talk". Then changed it again and insisted we were going to talk after work. Like I don't have a say-so any more.
I feel physically ill. I am now nauseus and feel like I'm going to throw up. But I have plans to go get my three year old from her grandmother and take her out for a little while.
My point for this post.
If you think you may want to reconcile, don't wait until six months after the divorce. Too much blood has been spilt. It's absurd to think that everything can be fixed when everyone has started moving on different paths.
If I can convince somebody of getting help and reconciling before the divorce, then this post has served it's purpose. I promise you, it's much more difficult later.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
My ex told me he loved me last night,, what's in the damn water? I am here if you need me!!!
Hugs!
But don't forget what's first: you and your kid. She took a backseat when she did what she did. 'Nuff said.
I to have to think long and hard about how easily the heart stings can be pulled.
I am the master of my thoughts -
Not others, including the ex. This is very hard to "get" because it's so easy to say the other person is manipulating you. Nobody manipulates you. You choose to do what you do. You choose to accept lies, even if you don't know they are lies. It's your choice to be in the relationship.
It's easy to be comfortable "surviving" life - This is also very difficult to "get". Quit surviving life and learn what it means to live it.
Don't worry about what others think of you -
If only it were as easy as it sounds. There is a difference between not worrying and not caring. Not caring means that it's easy to think you're always right and they are wrong. When you don't worry about who is right, then you can actually learn to communicate. Accept that they are right in their world and you are right in yours. Don't try to make everyone else choose between you and the ex's two worlds. Those people have their own.
So please understand. People can do things I see as wrong. But I choose how those things affect me and my feelings. There isn't a war to see who controls who. I accept their world for what it is, their world. I make mine better and allow them to see it. That is their choice.
I've learned a little since the divorce. ;)