Yeah, mine tried the "I never loved you for the whole 10 years we were together" (then why have the damn wedding to begin with?)and then he tells me that I never tried to really like his son (talk about bad memory after everything I did do!) and then he says that I promised him all the sex he wanted, anytime, anyway, anywhere (not sure how it is my fault he started preferring to do it with himself in front of computer or TV screens, or in bed while I was there too). Mine lied from day one, it turns out, but somehow in his reality he was forced into this whole 10 years together and had no choice but to suffer. I cannot wait til it's over also, if only he would participate in the divorce that he started! Somehow I just know that I will be the reason that the divorce took so long (once it finally is over), lol.

anne its so funny how they start this but never want to go through with the actual divorce process. lol

My husband blamed me too. I was the b****, I didn't take good enough care of him, I didn't listen, I complained, etc. etc. etc. despite the fact that he never lifted a finger around the house, and I work full time and go to school (and have four boys). Then he started going to counseling and discovered he was only blaming me because he wanted to make himself feel better. He has a lot of unresolved issues inside, and he is learning to deal with them. This is a very SLOOOOW process, but it is getting easier (sometimes).

I do accept blame for the pieces that I own, but I am not the only reason our marriage ended up where it is today.

Oh how funny! I think I'm married to all of your husbands! I swear this is the same blame game my husband is doing to me! I found out about another woman, and he tells me not to look outside the marriage for it's failing but to look in the mirror! He's very anal and controling and has a problem that I have an opinion. I've always worked and put myself through school to get my degree. But when he wanted more kids (my two and his one weren't enough) I chose to have one together. We had twins so I quit my job, now they are 6 mos old and he filed for divorce saying he can't take it anymore! What a man! Hang in there girls!

Blaming helps with the guilt and with the denial. I think that we can all see areas where the marriage had its problems, but we didn't abandon the family or our spouse, we were willing to try to make it work. Sorry for what you are going through.

I understand. My h is always blaming me for our failed marriage. I used to believe him. UNTIL NOW. Some people just have to blame someone else.It makes them feel better

It's awful feeling caught up in taking responsibility for the blame! i read a helpful book The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans, which lists blame as a category of verbal abuse. It is a way for him to avoid any responsibility for his actions. I think it shows a lack of boundaries in my case and that he had trouble thinking of me as a separate person. I'm just now learning not only can I not convince him I am not to blame for his choices to end our relationship or for his part in our problems, I don't have to believe him when he accuses me of causing his problems. It is a long road for me.

I fully understad everything everyone is saying-my wife has decided to blame me for everything that has gone wrong in her life for the past 15 years.Im to blame for everything from her having shitty bosses at work to the fact that she got a brain injury at work. (If I would have made more money, she wouldnt have had t be at work when she got hurt!)In our case Im the one who did most of tthehe housework and cleaning and earning, yet it is my fault if something isnt the way she wants it.i always wonderdd though, about these people who blame us for 10, 12, 15 years of misery and pain- I want to ask them, are you sooo weak and pathetic that you couldnt stand up for yourself in all those years?
Theres always more than enough blame to get tossed around onto those who have been doing the work of a mariage.

Okay....I can relate, from a guy's view though. I have no natural kids of my own. I have been married to my wife for going on 8 years. She has 3 boys and we have aquired her great niece on the way. I am the blame for her kids being angry at the world and them not respecting me. Kinda hard to respect someone who is being yelled at and blamed for every problem anyone in the family has. I put everything I had into this marriage and in the end I get to be alone. I'm only 40 years old and feel 70.

I can related. My H blames me for everything and states that his filing for divorce is my problem! I used to believe him until I realized that it was NOT true! It takes two to tango!!