My wife asked me to leave about six months ago and now we are divorced. My children live with their mother in my old home and I am not welcome to visit and they will not visit me where I live. About two years ago we lost a child. The child's heart just stopped beating three days after it was born and my wife could not accept that it happened for no reason but was just one of those terrible things that can happen for no reason. My wife could not accept this and blammed my intense work schedule for weakining her and the baby which she told me, my son, and my daughter was the reason for the death. As a result my daughter does not want anything to do with me and my wife does anything she can to dicourage my son from spending time with me. Before our recent divorce I asked her to forgive me for this and she declined and continues to speak detrimentally of me to my son and daughter who live with her. In addition, she has a new man and he takes the time that I would have previously had to share with my son. I loved my children completely and am lost without them in my life. People sayy they will change over time but I don't have that kind of time available to me. I am completely isolated and am losing a battle with a mixed deppression/anxiety state that is becoming increasingly debilitating. Furthermore, I work shift work where I work exclusively on the phone and have no physical interaction with other human beings. I live from minute to minuteand pray that God will lift this pain from me so that I might begin to recover from this horror and find happiness again. I am in such a state now that I often find myself crying uncontrollably in public or in the bathroom at work. I need to believe that I can survive this (and that there is a reason for wanting to) and once again live in the light of God's love. Are there any other survivors out there who made it through this period without benefit of a support system or friend or family member to call upon? I am in over my head and have no one to turn to.
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