I have been on DS for about 7 months now. I have seen a number of dear friend leave the boards when their time of healing has ended. I just want to thank all of you who were ther for me last night when I hit bottom. I feel much better today. I have found that the despair last a much shorter time now. But I have not cried that hard in months. I see how for 30 years I have trusted the words of my stbx, that I have listened to him and been comforted and loved. Now that I have to listen to him and hear those same words being said about another woman I am just shocked by how it hurts. I can't trust his words anymore, I can't be so believing. His words are like knives now and I give them the same power to hurt as I once gave them to heal. He is not invested in my best interest, he has become someone that I don't know. I am moving forward in the path that is right for me and my children. He is going blindly down a path that I don't understand in my heart or soul. I felt we truly were one for so many years. He tells me that our marriage was not good, I don't believe him, is see the fruits of our marriage. I have learned he tells himself things that will make it easier to move on and leave our family. I feel at peace this morning, prayer, the love of my friends here, and my sweet daughter holding me and comforting me last night. Thank you. For all of you that are new here, it does get easier, but that doesn't mean that your heart doesn't still ache for someone who is not there any longer.
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