Thanks so much for all the advise. If you had asked me this morning I would have sent the letter but now I will hold onto it. Maybe post it tomorrow in my journal so I don't forget where my head was at today. I know it won't do any good to tell him how I feel, since he obviously doesn't care, if he did I would hear from him.

I vote with Sara,, write it and burnit,, why do you ever want to dredge up the pain you are feeling today!

Don't send it.

Don't Chase...if you want power you must act like you don't even need him. And when you realize you are doing it without him. You'll have the power. Plus it makes them feel insecure and that is enough to have them reconsider. Never Chase.

don't do it, you can see from no response to the first one, he just does not care. in the end you do what you want, no judging here, your just not moving forward or letting go, and those things will start to benefit you eventually. this is not an easy journey. i do think it stinks though he does not speak on a regular basis with his children, they don't derserve that. no matter what, we are here for you.

i don't see how it helps as the objective is to apply guilt to the other - probably well deserved guilt. but apparently this person feels no guilt or sense of responsiblity, therefore, i don't see anything to gain except you waiting to do it again on the 3rd anniversary. people in this situation rarely receive the answers they seek and as a result, unless they can find another mechanism to heal on their own, they will have that continued drive to ask "what the hell do you think you are doing?" either way, if your ex does answer, either with legit answers or answers to appease, it will still be difficult for you to move on. it is sad that your ex has not had the contact that your children deserve and require. i am sure you are a wonderful parent. take care of yourself.