If what you are hoping for is the marriage to work out..I would leave it on.

No matter what anyone says..stay true to yourself. be honest with your feelings. No matter how things work out..you will be able to look back and know that you did what was right for you.

I put my ring on my right hand, just because we can't be together doesn't mean I don't respect what we had .... even if only 3 months out of the 22 years was good .... sigh

i know its right for me, but im trying to figure out what the best approach is to try and make her think about what she is about to throw away.

i think if u really want to fix this u shld keep it on bt. what ever u do, do it because its what u feel u shld do,not what she thinks or feels.if u take it off does that mean ur giving up, or just making a statement?

i guess i would be trying to make a statement....i have to find someway to get it across to her what she is giving up.

good luck then, bt its my exp. they dont usually dont knw what they hve intill its gone. i wish u best of luck.

I left my husband before, and went back, then the last time I left, I took it off for good. It just didn't mean nothing to me, after all the heck he put me through.~shelly&jt~

I didn't take mine off until the divorce was final. To me, it is a symbol of our marriage and our vows to stay together. Even though I knew that it was over, I couldn't take it off until it was final.

If you believe there is a glimmer of hope, then I would suggest that you keep it on. IMO, taking it off would be telling her that you don't consider yourself married, even if it's a failing marriage.

GregF - i totally agree. but i am grasping for straws at this point. I am looking for ANYTHING that will make her stop for just a moment and think about the ramifications of what she is doing. maybe in the end it will not work, but i need to do something!

Perehaps you should do what you want to about wearing the ring. I don't believe that it will matter to her. As for wanting to say something that will make her realize what she is giving up. I'm afraid there are no Intelectual answers to emotional issues. Oh some things sound great, but there are like marshmellows, when you bit down into them there really is much there.

I feel for you. I went through something similar. She wasn't open to listening or talking about anything other than termination of the marriage. She had already rationalized everything in her mind and was dead set on ending it. Sometimes I think that she was afraid to have second thoughts since it took her quite awhile to make the decision to leave me and she didn't want anything to challenge her decision.

Rob - very true my friend - i guess when you are desperate you look for anything to make a statement. I refuse to cry and beg anymore. In all honesty if it were not for the kids i would probably just leave at this point because im so frustrated. then again maybe i would not. its the first time in my life that i really feel hopless and have no input on the outcome. i never did like marshmellows...lol

Wearing the ring won't change anything! But it is obviously something you must choose! I stopped wearing mine after a while! It sat on my desk for a while, eventually I threw it away! It is now lieing in a dirt field behind my garage somewhere

It had been two years for me. I don't believe I ever thought in those two years that there would be a reconciliation.

For those two years, I left the ring in the coin tray of my van. I finally decided to try and sell it. First I had it cleaned up at the local jeweller (for free). Then I called around to see if any jewellers bought used wedding bands. No. They could melt it and build it into something else, but that would not remove the meaning of it for me. Plus I did not want to spend more money on it. Imagine, making something to give to my kids, and knowing from whence it came.

To get cash, the local jewellers suggested a pawn shop. Well, that follow-up call was a joke. I might have received $30 for it. I said no thanks.

I finally ran an ad in the local paper. No bites. Finally, I remembered previously coming across a free classified site (kijiji) and posted it there with a couple of photos.

I received an e-mail of interest that afternoon, and that Saturday morning a woman came to pick up from me for $150 I think it was. Went straight to my credit card debt.

Interestingly enough, just minutes after selling it, I saw the stbx, while the kids were at their swimming lessons.

Anyway, sorry for the long story.

Once the intangable things like love is broken...either thru seperation or filing for divorce...the tangable items like wedding rings are pointless.

Use it for a sinker at the end of your fishing pole.....and your Hope could be that you get a snag.

~zoot