You already know what has to be done. Just stay close to your son, love him as you always have, reassure him it was not his fault and love him more than ever...

You will deal with it on a daily basis.

Do not predict the future.

Love him, reassure him that mommy and daddy both love him and parent as best as you possibly can. Never mistreat him or use him as a pawn against your Ex.

A child that age needs love and reassurance.. no complicated concepts are going to work.

"suffer for the child" translates into "the child suffers for your choices"

you know it's time to go and it's important that he go into the world eventually knowing what a good relationship looks like. you don't want him sitting in something that looks like your marriage, and that is what you teach him by staying. sorry. *hugs*

I cant know what is best for you and your family. I know that for me I know I gave 100% and that is what I come away with. I cant imagine what it would be like to look into the eyes of my children and make that decision. I will keep you in my prayers

I think that Lane said it very well, Children learn from thier parents relationships.they learn to fight from us they learn to love from us they learn to resolve thing from us.

I probably shouldnt respond to this but I'm going to anyways.

Each situation is different and i think leaving "should" happen for certain reasons ie. alcoholism, drag abuse, physical abuse.

I honestly DONT believe it is impossible to work through or resolve ANYTHING. That all depends upon the people involved.

We live in a quick fix,me me me, on the go society. Divorce has become the norm and is socially acceptable and i will even venture to say..almost expected.

How do we teach our children to work through relationships? bailing?! While i agree it is dangerous for children to see an unhealthy relationship as well.....my honest answer is its up to us. To stop being so god damn selfish that we are willing tolet the children grow up with less than what they deserve because of self serving purposes.

Unhappiness needs to be communicated, It rages out of control too often than naught when its "too late"

I dont know. i dont believe in it. This is not the choice i wanted to make. i was forced. imgoing to get off the soap box right there

Women go thru a lot when they have a baby. Can you try to love her like when you got married? What would be reason for divorce? Your profile doesnt say. Does she want it?
There isnt enough information in your post. Do you want out because the honeymoon is over?
Only opfra says yes get a divorce without knowing the facts.

Have you guys tried counseling? Maybe there is some way to rekindle that old flame? You got together for a reason right?

I speak with allot of elderly people and this subject does come up. They say that they too had many problems, almost called it quits and walked away but chose to stay and work it out not just for the children but because of the promise they gave "Till death do us part". I never spoke to one that regretted staying and working it out. They were very happy they chose to work it out, because it turned out so well. They called it "growing to know each other and growing up".

I will leave it at that.

Wishing you the best.

I appreciate all the comments and suggestions.
- my wife works 2am to 2pm daily.
- she refuses to cut down on her hours to spend more time with us because "her job is too important to her".
- she didnt want to try counseling until I made her realize I was serious about divorce.
- the relationship was basically one that started at work between two people who worked way too many hours with each other and one thing led to another. When the baby was a month away we got married because we both thought it was the "right" thing to do.
Namaste01..I appreciate that you are upfront about your feelings on the matter.
- My parents were divorced and remarried twice...maybe thats where I get it from?

also i think that we never really knew each other aside from how we were at work. When we moved in together it was strained from the very beginning. I got a different job so I could be at home with the baby while she works at the same place...sometimes up to 14 hrs a day. Im no angel but these are just a few of the things that are there and are difficult to work through

Hi,

I am in the same place. I do not want the divorce but my wife does. I get sick to my stomach thinking about the day we tell our children.

Scott

I suppose I see this from a different angle. I hate to say this,but it sounds to melike you are trying to rationalize the situation. You made the commitment when you married her. No one forced you to do it. I cant understand why its so much easier to split when the going gets rough. You push through..and YES for the sake of the child (as long as I said before..no drugs,alcohol,physical abuse)

The post is titled "Suffer for the Child?" I say HELL YES!!!! So it gets uncomfortable for a while and you have to push through. It may take a while but you will most likely have no regrets for your hard work and your child certainly will thank you.

I write this as a teacher kibbers. I have worked with children for many years and see the stress and all of the effects on them. I see how it changes their lives FOREVER and how it manipulates their thinking in their adult lives. I have seen firsthand...8 hours a day..5 days a week...with a class FULL of little ones just what it does economically, socially,mentally,emotionally and the list goes on.

just my opinion as a professional working with kids day in and day out.

he's two, he'll be fine as long as he has TWO loving parents for HIM in his life. it is better to seperate a stale relationship IF and only IF it cannot be salvagable. You don't want to wake up several years from now, when the kid has grown more attached to his living situation then disrupt it. I made that mistake, but thankfully, the Lord blessed me with two resiliant children, who to date has not had a terrible time with the divorce. mind you, still trying to get ex wife to move out permanently. I was asked by my atty. to give her time to find a place... ughh that part is killing me, but getting easier everyday. She's kind of like the big dirty hairy old dog that's very sick but you don't want to take him out behind the shed just yet. let him find his own peace...

You mentioned she didn't want counseling until she figured your were serious. I see this as the door opening to make repairs to your marriage. Take the opportunity now. It doesn't sound like enough work has been done yet to toss it away.