When I posted my initial discussion entitled "PLEASE HELP!!!," I misunderstood the nature of this forum. I have since joined Surviving Infidelity.com and found a support forum for wayward spouses (a/k/a/stupid spouses), such as myself. (Yes, we cheaters and liars need support too). That forum has been helpful so far. But I wanted to post this discussion to let everyone know how helpful your responses were, even the harsher ones. Yes, I did stick my hand in a beehive as one of you wrote, but it's fortunate that I did so. As I read more and more of your stories in this forum, I am slowly but surely awakening to the pain I have caused my wife -- pain that I just expected her to sweep under the rug. My marriage is probably lost forever because of my selfish, self-serving and careless behavior. I have affected many lives in a hurtful and thoughtless way. Reading about your experiences as victims of infidelity has been more than educational for me. I will continue reading and possibly commenting on those stories with the hope that I can better understand the true depth and nature of my wife's pain, and at the same time try to understand why I allowed my self to knowingly and intentionally behave the way I did. In the meantime, I want to thank everyone who replied to my initial discussion, especially those of you who said things hard for me to hear. I also want to wish each of you the very best in your efforts to heal from your pain and to move forward in your lives in whatever manner will be best for you. God bless.
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