
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

deleted_user
I wrote this as a journal entry, but I am so conflicted!
"WOW! What a night! My H called me yesterday and asked me to go to dinner with him. I was kind of excited! Maybe this is the beginning of a fresh start for us! Yeah, right!
He calls me around 7 to ask where I want to go eat, my sister's baby's father (did ya get that? lol) was at the house visiting my sister. My H does not like the guy, so he got pissed off before we even went out! I told him that we would discuss everything over dinner. I meet up with him at Olive Garden at 8:30, and before we even get into the resturaunt he starts in on me. I told him just wait at least until we get to the table! So we sit down, we order, we start arguing and he leaves... whatever he'll be back... about 15 min. later he comes back in. We start talking again, I finish my meal, (I had cancelled his order) he pays and we get into another arguement! He follows me out to my car and we start talking... really talking...
H- "Do you even want to try anymore?"
Me-"90 percent of the time, no"
H-"Why not?"
Me-"I just don't think it is worth it anymore, I'm tired of fighting, not just tired of argueing, not just tired of the physical fighting, I am tired of fighting for us! Love should not be this hard. Marriage is hard, love is the easy part, and we can't even do that!"
H- "Now that I am willing to try, you are just giving up?"
Me-"Maybe"
H-"You have stood by me through everything, you have always been there for me, why won't you let me be there for you?"
Me-"Yeah, I have always been there for you! I have always been the one fighting for us! And the sad part is: I have always known that you don't love me! I put up with Molly, and Malory, and the drugs, and your selfish impluses, I got a job because you wanted me to, I have pushed myself into this box, conformed myself to what you wanted, and I lost myself along the way! You think that NOW that you are ready to love me, NOW that you are ready to try, I am supposed to just accept it, get my heartbroken again? I can't do it anymore! I don't know how I feel anymore, I don't know who I am anymore!"
H-"You are my wife, and our kids mom..."
Me-"I can't continue to define myself by who I am to other people! Sure, I am your wife, I am their mom, I am Lynn and Alan's daughter, Kortney and Kassie's sister, Mary and Arlene's granddaughter, but that is not who I am on the inside... I lost that person that Used to be, that person that you met four years ago, b/c I was trying to conform myself into who you wanted, who you needed to make you love me!"
We went on like this for another 20-30 min... Until I finally said, "I'm tired, I want to go to bed, get out of my car"
I get home, I get in bed... I finally fall asleep... and my phone rings
H-"I love you"
Me-"OK, goodnight, love you, bye"
UGH!!!!!!!!!!"
For those of you who don't know, we are separated, (I intiated it).... I guess I just need confirmation that I am doing the right thing... thanks guys!
"WOW! What a night! My H called me yesterday and asked me to go to dinner with him. I was kind of excited! Maybe this is the beginning of a fresh start for us! Yeah, right!
He calls me around 7 to ask where I want to go eat, my sister's baby's father (did ya get that? lol) was at the house visiting my sister. My H does not like the guy, so he got pissed off before we even went out! I told him that we would discuss everything over dinner. I meet up with him at Olive Garden at 8:30, and before we even get into the resturaunt he starts in on me. I told him just wait at least until we get to the table! So we sit down, we order, we start arguing and he leaves... whatever he'll be back... about 15 min. later he comes back in. We start talking again, I finish my meal, (I had cancelled his order) he pays and we get into another arguement! He follows me out to my car and we start talking... really talking...
H- "Do you even want to try anymore?"
Me-"90 percent of the time, no"
H-"Why not?"
Me-"I just don't think it is worth it anymore, I'm tired of fighting, not just tired of argueing, not just tired of the physical fighting, I am tired of fighting for us! Love should not be this hard. Marriage is hard, love is the easy part, and we can't even do that!"
H- "Now that I am willing to try, you are just giving up?"
Me-"Maybe"
H-"You have stood by me through everything, you have always been there for me, why won't you let me be there for you?"
Me-"Yeah, I have always been there for you! I have always been the one fighting for us! And the sad part is: I have always known that you don't love me! I put up with Molly, and Malory, and the drugs, and your selfish impluses, I got a job because you wanted me to, I have pushed myself into this box, conformed myself to what you wanted, and I lost myself along the way! You think that NOW that you are ready to love me, NOW that you are ready to try, I am supposed to just accept it, get my heartbroken again? I can't do it anymore! I don't know how I feel anymore, I don't know who I am anymore!"
H-"You are my wife, and our kids mom..."
Me-"I can't continue to define myself by who I am to other people! Sure, I am your wife, I am their mom, I am Lynn and Alan's daughter, Kortney and Kassie's sister, Mary and Arlene's granddaughter, but that is not who I am on the inside... I lost that person that Used to be, that person that you met four years ago, b/c I was trying to conform myself into who you wanted, who you needed to make you love me!"
We went on like this for another 20-30 min... Until I finally said, "I'm tired, I want to go to bed, get out of my car"
I get home, I get in bed... I finally fall asleep... and my phone rings
H-"I love you"
Me-"OK, goodnight, love you, bye"
UGH!!!!!!!!!!"
For those of you who don't know, we are separated, (I intiated it).... I guess I just need confirmation that I am doing the right thing... thanks guys!
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I thank God every day for the blessings he has poured out on me.
~zoot
I don't even understand this line??? What is he offering??? Sounds like he just wants you to be there for him again, and again, and again... If you don't want him "to be there for you" this should be a bonus for him... He's off the hook...
Sounds very confused to me!!!
Do what you feel is right!!!
(((hugs)))
P.S. My x would never admit that I was always there for him!!!!
Margesd, I'm glad I could help!