Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
After separation, is it common for the woman to 'string the guy along' as long as possible even though she knows that she will never reconcile with him? The context is that of a man with a good income, a good provider, etc... and a wife with 4 kids who does not work. What I ahve been told by a couple people is that a common strategy is to just lead him on a little but, make him think it could be worked out, and in the meantime, not have to change your lifestyle for divorce. I have heard of this going on for 2 years. And me, like many I suppose, understand the issues, and do not blame her for initiating the separation, but was also shocked and unbelieveably hurt. But no so much anymore. It's not a criticism either, I see it as self preservation. What I want to know, has anyone ever actually 'worked it out' in a situation like this. Please see my journal for some background. I don't want to fall into a common trap.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Hugs,
Erica
As an engineer you are well aware that you cant make something from nothing. What common materials do you have to work with? Is she part of the team? Once constructed, will it float?
Bottom line; Its your investment.
In my shop experience I was told at a young age; "There aint no such thing as can't be done! If your willing to pay?"
Anyway, my take is that I would be there until something better came along. It did or it was good enough or the guilt was bad enough for her to finally get truthful. She is not interested in a life with me or having the family we had. Therefore, she made no real changes just lip service to "us". What a shame.
As for common materials, definitely our kids, that's the biggest, quite possibly upkeep of our house, etc... the cold remains of what began with a passionate start.
Is she part of the team? Now there my friend is the question. I do not know what the teams are, but they exist, and this also seems to not have any 'sides' to it. Outside of what very little I am privy to (given by my own doing), i am given precious little data, and it is hard to trust.
Will it float! Of course, the obvious answer if to build it and try. But can a new relationship be envisioned and designed and indeed engineered to be better?
I don't understand the investment comment. Please explain...
And fortunately the last statement works because I am that kind of guy. I will not 'get the hint' to move on, although it is being screamed out loud. but I might, but I don't right now.
Seriously, thanks for that comment.
Investment comment.
You dont want to invest if your partner isnt investing into it. Why throw good money/emotion (literally and so to speak) after bad.
I might add that in todays competitive world all team members have impute. Are you ready to comform for the benifet of all? Assuming that you can get her on your team. (Darn, here I go assuming again...lol.)
What the goal is, refering to your original post is; Can you 'both' work it out?
Make a flexable proposal. Thats a start.
If she won't go to counseling, I think you could assume it is over.