I made a big change in my life today. I attended church this morning for the first time in years. It was a bit awkward, but I made it through. The worst part for me was that after I took my boys to their classrooms I asked someone where I would attend a study class. I was walked to the young married room. I really didn't know what to say. The thought of walking into that classroom was knee buckling. I just quietly leaned over to my new "friend" and told him that I'd rather not go into that classroom. I'm going through a divorce, and I wouldn't feel comfortable. He just put his arm around me and said I could attend his class. That was very comforting, but it made me sad to have to say it. All in all, I enjoyed myself though. My oldest son is having a serious issue with us attending church. I don't quite understand where this is coming from. I have a few good ideas though. He is feeling betrayed by God. He was completely excited about going until we got there. He attended sunday school and started giving me attitude when I told him we were staying for services. I had to keep getting onto him all through the service for "acting out". I tried to address this with him when we got home, but he just got angry and went to his room. He later made a comment to his brother about "believers" not being able to sit on his bed. This makes me sad. He used to have so much faith. A lot of it has to do with the things he has experienced in his life. A grandfather and step-father passing, a mother that doesn't have much to do with him, and now he is faced with our seperation. He looked at his step-mother like she was his own mom. He is having serious abandonment issues with her leaving. He went through a spell of not wanting anything to do with her after she left. I'm also afraid he is going to have serious relationship issues in his future. What do I do???
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