I don't know why I am still here waiting for my ex or let alone wanting to still work on things. He hasn't really made any effort other than tell me he loves me and wants us and our family. He says he can't focus on anything or do anything because he's in such deep depression and he can't get out of it. I tell him I'm here for him to help but he just doesn't do anything. On top of that, he still has the ow around being crazy. He has moved her in twice now but has ended things with her but hasn't finalized things for her to move her crap out. He's says he knows he needs to but his depression is so bad he doesn't want to talk to her or deal with her but he knows he has to. She even broke into his place and he woke up with her staring over him while he slept and my kids were asleep in their rooms. WTF!!! Crazy ass and I'm worried for the safety of my kids and what this ow is capable of I don't know. I told him he better handle that situation or I'm going to the police. He hasn't really made any effort and only tells me he will handle it and I have nothing to worry about. What the hell is he thinking?? All this drama is just too much and I'm afraid it's just killing any chance we have to try anything. I even told him we can't even take a step forward while he still has this crazy ass around affecting our lives. I don't know what to do. I feel like a fool and I know healing and all that begins with me but I just can't let go. I told him I have my limits and I don't want to be hurt by him anymore and he says he doesn't want that for me either but then I get nothing more from him. Am I really that dumb and blind?? I want to be someone's first choice, I want to be noticed, loved and respected. Why am I always getting the crap end of things? I feel like I will never be happy in love. I even have spent time with another man before and I just couldn't let myself go there with him. What's wrong with me? I don't want to be waiting and I don't want to be alone either. I'm not sleeping, barely eating due to how bad my anxiety has gotten it makes me nauseous. I feel so lost at times, I can't focus. What do I do? I need help mentally and physically and spiritually.