gatta ask yourself. "How long do I want to live in question of my relationship?" Though call.

I have been reading a book today titles "Coming Apart" by Daphne Rose Kingma

When i red a part that reveals that the relationship is not working and breaking up is being denied or avoided...for emotional reasons usually...I understood the reasons why folks stay together when it is over. Got the book at the library...Check it out.

Wish I knew the answer to that one. In my case, he's not committing to letting me go or staying together. Living in the middle sucks! I feel it is like living in the gray. Just give me a black & white answer. really hard to move forward with out it. It's been a year of living in the gray, since we have kids, I have wanted to work it out, so when he says we might be able to have a loving future, I listen. Then the next day he changes his mind. I am at the point of making the choice cause I think I'll keep getting a non-answer forever from him. Don't want to live like that.

It's very hard living like this. I just need an answer...

i wonder if they can't give the answer because they don't want the responsibility of the break-up on their shoulders. the other way they can say she/he wanted the divorce. i wonder if it's so they won't feel guilty, i say you go do your own thing. if a vegas trip is going to make you happy, go on the vegas trip. so if they don't have the guts to end the relationship, perhaps your going to have to do it.

I've offered to leave, give her a divorce etc... she steps back when I take that step but will then turn around and confirm the fact that she doesn't feel the same. It's driving me insane.

I know how you feel. My ex and I got back together and remarried but one year into the second marriage, she told me that she didn't think she could trust me anymore because of something that she thought had happened. She told me she need time to think about where our relationship was going.

For two years, I was in limbo. No real closeness, no sex, just basic friendship. Every time I brought up the issue, I was told not to push her. I stayed because I have three kids that I didn't want to lose again.

A little over a year ago, she told me that we were through. She had made her decision. As much as I've hated it in many ways, I found it to be a massive relief just to know what was happening with me. It was a huge blow to the ego knowing that we had failed a second time but at least I know where I'm going now.

It is really hard to feel like you are just hanging.. waiting for an answer to your life. This is where you need to decide if you are willing to wait for her to decide your life for you, or if you are ready to say "ENOUGH!" and get on with your life with or without her.

Actions speak louder than words. If she acts like she's not into it. It won't change. Don't modle a relationship based on disrespect to your children. Consult a lawyer and then make a decision.

She is telling you that she wants a divorce or seperation by her actions. You are not listening to her actions.

If she continues to act like she is undecided you may need to make the decision for her.

Sometimes if you don't seperate or end it while you can still be civil to each other believe me then it get UGLY and you don't recognize yourselves and the people you've become.

Well the way things are cannot continue because same old only gets same old. Something has to change, either you have do to something to leave (change) or have to do something to bring it back together (change). Are you doing something like marriage therapy. If you do marriage therapy, do something more than that too, marriage encounters, Marriage Fitness, or several other programs that incorporate the attention and rebuilds love. I really don't think that therapy by itself works that well, the process is too slow and generally painful... you have to be prepared for the long hall. But buy doing nothing, just staying around won't change anything. There has be a commitment to whatever choice you make, neither is easy. Make sure that you are BOTH committed to the change. Then remember what you paid paid for this advice, what can you expect the value of it to be. Good luck to you.

I say, "SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT!"

Sure sounds like a HUGE Co-Dependancy thing going on between the two of you. One of you must step up to the plate and get real or get out...This limbo stuff isn't helping anybody...in fact, most likely doing more harm than good, such as in the Trust Dept! Stalling the inevitable will only cause you both more baggage that will be brought into your next relationship unless you deal. I would hope you have already considered therapy, but if not, that would be a first step. You both have to want to make it work, otherwise you are fighting an uphill battle that can never be won. Just my humble opinion of course!

Time to get REAL!

Good Luck!

Take her out without the kids. Maybe a weekend. Ask her how you two can fall in love again, and try her suggestions.

This is a hard one. One can never rush these things. It does take time to heal, however, on the other hand, it isn't fair to you to keep you dangling. I would need a lot more information before I could really give you advice on this one. I hope that everything works out for you.