Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I posted this response to a post about someone feeling jealous about what they perceive as their Ex's good fortune. I was in the same boat for a little while.
The more I thought about her situation and mine, I realized that alot of us may be delaying our good fortune by putting so much emphasis on their gifts and not our own blessings. Wanted to share this with everyone and not just those that responded to her honest and heartfelt post. My response is below, read her post too all the replies were very helpful.
*******************************
Grass is always greener. It's easy to think that your ex is doing better. If you really believe that God has a plan for you he may have a plan for your STBX too. They may be getting all those "blessings" now only to have them ripped away later. Or even worse, they may get all those things and realize that they STILL feel empty inside...and that the love you gave them and they threw away was the greatest blessing of all.
There is no way for you to know what God & the Universe have in store for your STBX.
What you can be sure of is that your anger and jealousy are normal reactions. If you don't find a way to let them go you are only pushing your blessings away.
Alot of us on this site are the ones that got the bulk of the pain in our break ups. Our STBX's have already moved on with other people. Our STBX's are already happier than we are I think there is a direct correlation between those good feelings they have and their incredible good fortune and the pain we are feeling and our incredible ill fortune.
Let the pain go. You are only hurting yourself. Try to find what is good in your life ad the good will grow.
The more I thought about her situation and mine, I realized that alot of us may be delaying our good fortune by putting so much emphasis on their gifts and not our own blessings. Wanted to share this with everyone and not just those that responded to her honest and heartfelt post. My response is below, read her post too all the replies were very helpful.
*******************************
Grass is always greener. It's easy to think that your ex is doing better. If you really believe that God has a plan for you he may have a plan for your STBX too. They may be getting all those "blessings" now only to have them ripped away later. Or even worse, they may get all those things and realize that they STILL feel empty inside...and that the love you gave them and they threw away was the greatest blessing of all.
There is no way for you to know what God & the Universe have in store for your STBX.
What you can be sure of is that your anger and jealousy are normal reactions. If you don't find a way to let them go you are only pushing your blessings away.
Alot of us on this site are the ones that got the bulk of the pain in our break ups. Our STBX's have already moved on with other people. Our STBX's are already happier than we are I think there is a direct correlation between those good feelings they have and their incredible good fortune and the pain we are feeling and our incredible ill fortune.
Let the pain go. You are only hurting yourself. Try to find what is good in your life ad the good will grow.
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
4
Toil not to gain wealth, cease to be concerned about it;
5
While your glance flits to it, it is gone! for assuredly it grows wings, like the eagle that flies toward heaven.
I still have my family's love, devotion and support and he does not. All he has is the OW. If that is enough for him, then so be it. I am tired of being the victim. I am tired of being the one suffering.
In my Thursday nigh divorce group, my leader said to get up every morning and count ALL the blessing you have. There are more than you realize. Tape them to the mirror. Tape them to the refrigerator.
Some people (my best friend) think I am now handling this too well. But it is because I am tired of hurting. I am not cold hearted and unfeeling, I am just moving on to a better life!
Our STBX's may be partying, living it up, and working on new relationships. If they are not working on healing themselves the way we are here, where will they be when the party is over and the new relationship is worse than the one they just left?
They will have it all come back to them and because they haven't done the work and suffered and learned how to handle it, it is going to be devastating. I don't wish this pain on anyone, not even the STBX and OW but it is coming and oddly enough I feel sorry for them.