Maui

I know exactly how you feel. She should have asked the babysitter. I find that I need to inform stbx about our kids and their activities and it sucks because I feel like he depends on me to get him the messages. I told him he needs to call and find out the information for him. Although he is soooooo appreciative when I let him know what's going on (sarcasm intended).

It drives me crazy!

Sounds like she needs a course in personal finance... she needs to start taking responsibility for herself and the kids...

My x wanted me to continue to work for him, and keep his company books... NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!!

I stopped doing things like that for him when we separated, but he still keeps asking...

WHAT PART OF "NO" DOESN"T HE UNDERSTAND????

sounds to me that she and the sitter may be communicating more than she is letting on .....might be a sign she can't handle this on her own. I already know she went to the wrong third party for advice.

yeah, just like one of mine has had dance class for four years from 4:15-5:15. "what time does she get out of dance?"
Or, my son, two years football, 5-6:30, five days per week. "where's the field? When does he get out?" err. pettiness of a codependent sociopath.

you know the funnest thing is she had no idea the amount of debt she put in my name. over 40k and when my mother spoke to her when we were together she had no clue!! Good luck finding someone who wants to deal with that.

I think that for some reason denial of what is their part in any of this. Mine tells me if I had things planned better then he could make plans with our daughters. I have told him to get me a calendar of his schedual and then I can let him know what days work. It is easier for them to feel the victim and the poor me than to see how lame they are. Did I say lame???? yahooo the anger is starting to come. LOL

Sounds to me like she hasn't accepted the pending divorce and is still treating you like her husband. You took care of financial things in the past, this is a financial question, hence she turns to you for the answer. Depending on how long you have been married and the reasons for the divorce, perhaps she needs to learn how to stop being "intimate" with you as a husband and more "business like" as you move forward and taking on more of the responsibility of shared parenting.

She needs to learn to be self-sufficient. Does she expect you to be there to hold her hand through life after it was her decision to end the marriage? My wife is doing the same thing. I told her she needs to learn to do the things I did in the marriage herself now and not expect me to continue taking care of any "husbandly" duties. My wife does not like facing that reality either, but what do they expect?

she needs to take responsibility for some things. sounds like she just wants someone to take care of these things so she does not have to. i say cut the strings, time for her to fly out of the nest and be an adult.

I'm guessing she didn't want to ask because she would then have to pay the bill. Are you supposed to pay it? If not, stick with making her ask and paying. That's MY opinion anyway.

I will ALSO confess~I AM the woman that DID expect my X for certain things. Mainly, my oil change but I DID cut the tie of that last week because I have to face reality. He's NOT mine anymore. :(

Well, women tend to make friends easier between eachother, then men do, which it sounds to me like the babysitter is taking sides, even though she claims she isn't.

This happened alot when I separated form my first wife too, people always want to take sides for some reason or other. I've lost many of friends because of this in my time.

I wouldn't take it personally, because I don't think its anything against you in particular, and even if it is, so what, ya know? I just think she's taking sides, and since women tend to form sisterly-like relationships with eachother, much easier then men form brotherly relationships, thats what it sounds like to me.