Ive been realizing that for the last 15 years my wife's voice has been the first and last thing Ive heard everyday. since we're separated and shes in Pa i fnd I keep calling to hear that voice, and it is obvious to me that there is no sense of loss in her voice at all. I keep wondering why wont she call, why wont she call- doesnt she want to hear my voice. I just dont understand how we can be so much apart of each others lives for so long and thenbe completely shut out. And I also keep thinking I need her permission to do stuff around the house. Ive been cleaning and moving furniture and stuff like that and I feel guilty and keep thinking I need to ask her to do this. I keep telling myself my obligations to her are over, but time has developed such a pattern of behavior and feelings that I dont know how to break them.
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