i did it again, acted like a bitch, which is the reason why our marriage failed. i was supposed to go out with a couple of girl friends for St Paddy's day, but my girls were upset they couldnt come over this weekend and i felt guilty. so i picked them up and we spent the weekend together. While i'm doing things with the girls, my stbx was going out having "drinks". I got mad and told him it wasnt fair. When we were together nothing stopped him from going out and having drinks and now that i've moived out, its still the same. I cant bring the kids home until late because he's out having drinks. in our whole married life i've went out with the girl friends 1%, while he's gone out with the guys 90%. I've always told him in advance so he can be prepared to take care of the kids and 99% of the time i've had to cancel my plans because an "old" friend called out of the blue and . . .
I've always held my disappointment and anger about it in until recently, and now i'm the bitch who cant seem to stop nagging and bitching. nothing about seeing things from my POV or the inequity in our relationship. Just that i'me the one at fault because all i do is complain. Why can't i stop caring and just be happy that i am spending time with my daughters and creating good memories of the 3 of us? Why does it hurt that he doesnt care about how i feel? that i wanted to go out with him or maybe he take the kids and let me have a breather. I cracked under the stress of work and home while he got to come and go from the house as he pleased.