
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Do you ever feel like going through the divorce process makes you take huge steps BACKWARDS in any progress you've made in therapy and personal healing? One thing I'm working on is trying to believe that I'm a lovable person. I thought that I had gotten past some things in the past few months and stopped blaming myself for my husband's adultery. But recently, I read his statement as to why he thinks we need a divorce on the divorce papers. He says it's because I had emotional and social issues I refused to get help for until he found someone else who's more emotionally together. WTF?! I don't know why this is getting to me, but first of all, neither my H or the whore is emotionally together and second, what gives him the right to 'find someone else' while he's married to me? I was 'unhappy for a long time' too in the marriage, he was making me feel like crap, shouldn't I have the same right to 'find someone else' and be happy? Not that I want someone else after I've been so hurt, but why should I be penalized for actually having morals and refusing to try to find someone else who would make me happier while married because I actually believe adultery is wrong?! And then, my stbx was upset because I was not giving him my bank account and credit card numbers for his legal paperwork and because he doesn't want me slamming him or saying anything to people we know about what he did. I was trying to get a hold of my lawyer, but I finally just sent the account numbers directly to the lawyers and bypassed my stbx. My MIL sent me a couple e-mails saying stuff like "not to justify what he did, but he's been unhappy for a long time and unhappiness makes people do crazy things. Why did you wait so long to get help?" and then another e-mail about cooperating with the paperwork and "I need to look in a mirror and ask myself WWJD" and something else about Jesus and "remember Him?"
Okay, now maybe I shouldn't be telling people so many details about what my husband did and I probably shouldn't have e-mailed my MIL so many details about what her son did. Maybe that's not what Jesus would do but that e-mail and his stupid response on our divorce paperwork almost made me feel like his selfish choices were my fault and I will NOT be responsible for another person's actions. It's just that those old thoughts like that I failed and There's something wrong with me and just feeling like an unlovable human being came back and that really frustrates me. I just so want to be loved, to be hugged and held and treated like I'm awesome. I can't wait until I'm done with this whole stupid process, so I can move forward in healing and not get hurt anymore by my stbx.
Thanks for listening to me vent.
Okay, now maybe I shouldn't be telling people so many details about what my husband did and I probably shouldn't have e-mailed my MIL so many details about what her son did. Maybe that's not what Jesus would do but that e-mail and his stupid response on our divorce paperwork almost made me feel like his selfish choices were my fault and I will NOT be responsible for another person's actions. It's just that those old thoughts like that I failed and There's something wrong with me and just feeling like an unlovable human being came back and that really frustrates me. I just so want to be loved, to be hugged and held and treated like I'm awesome. I can't wait until I'm done with this whole stupid process, so I can move forward in healing and not get hurt anymore by my stbx.
Thanks for listening to me vent.
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Someone who is a liar and cheater is laughable in passing an opinion on your emotional or social life. He is a sociopath.
Your mother in law churned this person out, in significant part. Of course she would prefer to blame it on you. Block her emails and do not communicate with her. She is defending a lying cheater. She does not know Jesus.
If you husband is a lying cheater, you have a perfect right to say so to whomever you please.
Hell would freeze over before my husband got my credit card numbers or any such information.
You are OK and lovable. Screw them.
No one knows what a difficult person I was to live with and how he suffered all those years, and now he deserves his happiness. Hey, sell it to someone who is buying it. He's just taking the easy way out. Cowards.
I like to get it all out and on the table. That's how I deal with things and I feel better when it is all out in the open. I kept my feelings bottled up for so long that when the sh-- hit the fan it was like the floodgates opening.
Feel free to vent whenever you need to. I think it is better to get it out, at least to a point.
I'm here for you whenever you need to unload on someone.
I like that - can't you just see Jesus at the computer hitting the delete key :)
Dance while you heal, it allows one to take one step back and forward as you choose.
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I've been dealing with the same sort of crap for over two years. (The perfect husband who cheated because he had been miserable for 20 years, and the MIL from Hell who didn't mind twisting the knife herself, etc. ad nauseam....)
The only thing that has really helped me is seeing a kind and supportive psychiatrist, who has helped me to unravel the mysteries of these folks who have been terrorizing me.
You aren't crazy.
You didn't hold a gun to your husband's head and make him cheat.
Only a real idiot keeps quiet about their so-called overwhelming misery, and eases it by betraying people, lying, cheating, and just generally being a jack-*ss jerk.
And don't get me started on what kind of a mother would defend the idiot's choices.
THEY are messed up.
Get them out of your life as soon as possible and move on. Let them find a new victim.
I'm sorry you are going through this. It is awful.
Write down everything that goes on so you can keep track of what is happening.
Good luck with you, you are a loving person.