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STBX introduces OW to kids

deleted_user
deleted_user
It has been one year since my stbx told me he wanted a divorce via telephone. This is the guy who told me and our 3 children we were moving to CA last year with him and then called me to tell me he wanted a divorce after he had been out there one month. We live in FL. He has visited the kids for less than 1% of the past year. He was actually here for a full week to watch the kids for spring break- He has never stayed to visit with them more than 4/5 days- he always cuts the time short to go visit OW in Atlanta. So, I have to say I was suspicious he was coming for a full week, I mean how can he live without OW? Of course, I should have known, He had the nerve to bring her here and introduce her to the kids. They are confused to say the least. I am soooooo irritated with him, what the hell is he thinking? Does anyone else think it is wrong to introduce OW to kids before the divorce? My mind has just been racing, I can't sleep I am so mad. Am I alone on this?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have to say I introduced my now husband to my kids. But it wasn't like this is my boyfriend. It was always my friend and we were really careful around them. I guess it depends on how you introduce them and how you handle yourself. Now we are married. Dated for about 2 years and have been married for about 2. I think it hurts you no matter when they do it but for the kids sake I think you have to be mindful of their feelings.
verbra
verbra
My stbx introduced my kids to the OW right away after he promised he wouldn't. They don't realize the affect it has on your children, you are the one up with the kids when they are crying. I think the OW needs to mind her own damn business.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I dont have kids but I can imagine how this might feel. Its bad enough that they walk away but then to have the OW/OM be part of your kids life must be heartbreaking.

I don't think it's the right thing to do for the kids sake.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My ex immediately moved in with ow from the time we separated. He brought the kids there right away also. We did not get divorced for 16 months after he left. The only benefit it had was that it allowed me full custody hands down.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It does seem to be the norm. My ex did introduce the OW right away to the kids as well. Now that we are divorced, he has annocouned that he is getting married. My daughter was fine with daddy's friend but now their relationship is becoming a reality. She is having a hard time adjusting, leaving me to deal with her emotions. I have come to realize that all I can do is to be there to support her but she will figure out who has been here all long to support her and who has not. You can't be mad anymore. You are not the one doing this, let him own it. He is responsible for his behavior, not you. You only have control over what you do.
deleted_user
deleted_user
In my honest opinion (and I don't have kids with my stbx. But he has children from his first marriage.) They REALLY don't give a shit what the kids think or how they are feeling. They are too selfish to think of anyone but themselves...PERIOD.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I actually had this conversation the the ex last week. We are going to talk about it BEFORE we introsduce anyone into our kids lives. We also agreed it had to be a long term relationship before anyone is introduced. We split 50.50 so we each have enough time to spend with the "other" and see where it goes before the kids get involved. We want to talk first so we can support eachother and the kids through it.

My daughter was telling him I had a Boyfriend and the ex said it took him asking all day to find out she was tlaking about ORLANDO BLOOM.... I WISH!!!!

N
deleted_user
deleted_user
My STBX is apparently so embarassed by his OW that he doesn't even talk about her to my kids. They are older 17 and 20 and I think he knows they won't have anything to do with her anyway.
solongbye
solongbye
My x should be embarrassed by the ow, but nothing embarrasses him any more. I will never understand why the children have to be dragged into their sex life, the kids have enough trauma going on. My x's lovely is 7th grade educated, an excon with a crack habit...yep I'd be rushing to introduce this pillar of the community to my children.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My X had a new man living and sleeping in the master bedroom less than 2 weeks after the children were told we were divorcing. I only told my girls about my GF because they were worried that I was alone and only after I had tested the water by saying "How would you feel if daddy had a GF"
deleted_user
deleted_user
Solong - Maybe your kids could take the OW to school for careers day. LOL
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband moved his girlfriend in and had the kids for the weekend a few weeks later. We have not filed for divorce yet and I think it is very wrong. I begged him to not let her stay overnight while they were there. She stayed overnight anyway. I asked him how he would feel if his daughters husband did the same to her. What kind of an example he is giving them.
solongbye
solongbye
Funny Sean, or anti career day:) Hey the kid was already the only one who got to visit the aids clinic on spring break:)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well be it I'm the guy in this same situation with the stbxand she has already introduced my child and her poor children I concider my own to 3 other men she has slept with since Nov-07 you have every right to be upset especially when they have sexual relations during the night while the kids are there. Its very wrong and he needs to be brought to account with it during the divorce!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mine did the same, only has known the guy 3 months and moved in with him.

I agree that it should be a slow step which my ex didnt do. But if you have been split for a year, what does it matter if you are divorced or not? I would assume at this point the kids are too young to understand divorce, or old enough to understand it and realize that you two are split up.

It should have been discussed between you though, nothing like on of the parents making a call the other does not agree on.
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