Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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stbx asked if i was.....

deleted_user
deleted_user
gay. Yea He did. he says i am emotionally attached to Karen cause i call her 4 times in a day and go to her for things that i should go to him for. she happens to be my best friend. we are like sisters actually and i told him NO im not gay and i am not having an affair. i knew he'd accuse us of it though cause he blames karen for the whole divorce scenario.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please tell me this isn't for real.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your husband is obviously confused. That or just wanting an excuse to blame you for something.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He is probably confused. My ex would always go to her friends to tell them what was bothering her and would never tell me, it made me resent some of them. Try and talk to him.
bigguy3
bigguy3
I can relate to your stbx ... I didn't accuse my ex-wife of being gay, but she did spend far more time with her girlfriends than she did with me. I felt emotionally abandoned and un-loved when my ex would go to her friends to help her solve problems. I realize that women are typically more social then men and need to have girlfriends that they can talk to ... but when I was completely cut out of her life because she preferred to spend time with her girlfriends, it hurt a lot and was definitely a contributor to the failure of our marriage. As a man, I need to be needed. To have the person that I loved more than anyone else decide that I wasn't worth talkint to, it helped me realize that she did not love me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wonder if he felt jealous or inadequate. Now he's making up this silly scheme because he couldn't communicate his needs and now it's to late. Better luck next time.
bigguy3
bigguy3
and a follow up based on zippids post. I was bad at communicating. I had a fear of conflict so I buried a lot of my feelings throughout my marriage. However, I was able to work past this and did express that I was not happy with all the time my (now ex) wife was spending with friends and away from the family. Her response was basically, "thanks for expressing your concerns, but I will do what I want anyway." Just another confirmation that I didn't mean anything to her anymore.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've been in relationships before where the gal I was dating could not do anything on her own, she had to run it by her "friends" first.

Um, I'm the one you're dating or otherwise involved with, why are you going outside the relationship instead of talking to me?

I know, it always helps to get as much input as possible when making decisions. But where do you draw the line?

If someone wants to spend all of their time with someone else, why not date them?

...it's like some frikken "Choose your own adventure" novel, and they can't figure out which way to go to get to "the best ending".
deleted_user
deleted_user
I actually want to ask my H if he is gay. He's acted really weird.
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