Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Staying strong

deleted_user
deleted_user
It is difficult staying strong. We still live in the same house pending her finding a place she can afford (Because of my higher income we agreed I will maintain the house until we can sell it). She has told me I am not her husband, not her friend and she considers me only a room-mate (at best). I love all the kids and it is difficult to stay strong. Her natural kids have approached me about rides, parent-teacher interviews, need new shoes, watch TV shows with them and general parenting. She ignores me when I talk and keeps telling me to mind my own business and to stay out of their lives. I keep trying to quietly input, keep my sanity and stay strong for the sake of the kids. She hides in the room, chain-smokes her cigarettes and throws back the beers. Just one of those days.
deleted_user
deleted_user
gosh i'm so sorry, it sounds like she is really full of anger. how are you supposed to stay out of the kids lives? stay strong, this must be so difficult for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. You are strong for putting up with that, it would tear me apart to stay out of the children's lives. It's impossible to do so...they live with you, and you seem to be the one they come to.
I know it's hard, but stay strong.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just hang in there until she finds her own place. Treat everyone with respect (as it sounds like you are) and when all is said and done the kids will appreciate how you handled the situation.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you. Thi site again proves its worth... "... the kids will appreciate..". We all seem to live with this hope, that one day the kids will all understand and say 'thanks for being the best you could'. It would be nice that it occur sooner then later but I figure by the time they are 40 they should understand. Again thanks for your support.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh Deggar so sorry. nothing worse than living in the same house and being ignored. I think this kind of behavior is so selfish and self-centered. It is obvious those kids depend on you, this part makes me really mad. I want to strangle my stbx, but his relationship with the kids his between them. I work really hard not to make my problems with him there problems. This was not their choice.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If she hides in her room with her beer I understand. Nothing an alcoholic does is rational. Its all about them. Good luck to you and her kids.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are right, nothing is rational. I am a good person, I am a good person, I am a good person. By the way cool avitar sockpuppet.
deleted_user
deleted_user
wow.....I don't know how you do it! I couldn't live like that. You are a strong man...hang in there!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ironically, my brother-inlaw says I have the patience of Gandhi.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Not trying to be mean but have you helped her find a place. It is nothing like living in a home where you have to walk on egg shells. I know you will miss the kids so that is a double edge sword.

People don't realize how much stress these situations put on the children. My children were upset for days after their dad left but they were free from the fussing and fighting, seeing me cry and seeing him be cold and uncaring.

My kids are so happy now. They dont have alot of things that they could have when their dad was there as he makes more money. But my 14 year old said "Mama guess what, we have Peace". That was an eye opener for me.
1toughcookie
1toughcookie
I'm sorry that you have to deal with all that. That has to be tough. You have my support and prayers. Try to ignore the woman, keep loving the kids as best you can and keep your head up. One of you has to be the adult/parent. Looks like she has checked out.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes I did help her look for a place and she not so politely told me that she didn't need or want my help. For the most part I just try to keep my distance. Officially the kids don't know yet, I am sure the older ones have all figured it out by now. Unfortunately her youngest (12) does not seem to realise. She will be the hardest as I have been her only father figure. It is and will be very difficult. The kids always get hurt and it is so unfortunate.. just because us big people can't get out sh@t together.
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