Well lets see, how do I describe what it is that I just can't fix. For starters, I have always been more sensitive the anyone else that I know. I also have always struggled with a sense of individuality. I want to say that I can function on my own but my actions directly speak against it. I have been divorced for some time now, and have lived with my parents for about three years. Since my separation my career deteriorated almost immediately. I bounced from job to job, unhappy in life as a whole, so naturally I wasnt my previous go-getter self. I was in a relationship very early on after my separation, and ended up realizing that it was for the wrong reasons and I didnt want to be in a relationship for years again for it just to end. I knew that I didnt love her and I knew she was using me. I now realize that being with that woman for those few months, was the happiest that I had been since my ex-wife left me. Honestly I hate to admit how much I think about her every day. My good friend not so long ago told me Were losers bro, no girl is ever going to want a couple of scrubs like us. I know he was down on himself, and yeah, I guess I feel the same way inside. But on the other half, I dont think I can trust anyone in my life again. And even worse, I dont believe that it would ever be fair to try to love another when the love for my ex-wife just wont leave me. I guess I dont know what I am asking, just looking for conversation with people. The old adage of time heals all unfortunately is the only light that I see at the end of a tunnel. I would like to hear any comments that other might have in responses or messages. Im here because I know that prolonged loneliness is one of my indicators of going into a deep depression, so here I am. And who knows with this bout of sadness and despair I may just find a new friend to share the light with.
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